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How 7 fearless women stay confident (and safe) in the bedroom


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Photo: Pixabay/Alex Van
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You’ve gotten tips on how to boost self-love through yoga and you’ve read up on facing the board room with confidence, but what about the bedroom?

The lights may be down, but if your nerves are up how do you tap into your inner-Sasha Fierce?

Get On Top, a new campaign started by Meika Hollender, co-founder of Sustain (creators of the all-natural, vegan condom), aims to answer that very question. She has teamed up with nine powerhouse women—from fashion mavens to fitness entrepreneurs—to encourage others to take their sexual health seriously: everything from acting like a CEO in the bedroom to getting way savvier about practicing safe sex.

With a father who founder eco-cleaning brand Seventh Generation, Hollender has seen firsthand this shift towards wellness and fitness—but noticed that sexual health often got left out of the equation: “I have personally faced the slut-shaming that inherently takes place when women attach themselves to anything sexual,” she says, “But what I’m advocating needs to be said…. Safe sex is smart sex.” As part of the campaign, she is asking 100,000 women to pledge to practice safe sex.

To help jump-start the conversation, we asked seven female leaders affiliated with the campaign what safe sex means to them—and how to boost confidence in the bedroom.
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"Get On Top" safe sex campaign. Photos by STUDIO 1208
Photo: Studio 1208 for “Get On Top”

1. Always speak up

Miki Agrawal
CEO & co-founder, THINX

Ask for what you want! Your partner will never be able to guess what you want so don’t expect it unless you explain what you like and how you like it.

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"Get On Top" safe sex campaign. Photos by STUDIO 1208
Photo: Studio 1208 for “Get On Top”

2. Pay attention to your self-worth

Jenné Lombardo
Co-founder, Milk Studios and founder of Made Fashion Week

To be empowered, you need to know your sense of self-worth, accept your imperfections, lighten up, and just have fun!

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"Get On Top" safe sex campaign. Photos by STUDIO 1208
Photo: Studio 1208 for “Get On Top”

3. Be open about what you want—and need

Lauren Singer
Founder, Trash is for Tossers

If I can’t speak openly about sex with the person I am thinking about being intimate with, I probably shouldn’t be intimate with them. In my experience, the best sexual encounters come from being really connected to the person, feeling safe, and free to be vulnerable. When that foundation is there, confidence comes naturally.

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"Get On Top" safe sex campaign. Photos by STUDIO 1208
Photo: Studio 1208 for “Get On Top”

4. Think of confidence like your favorite lingerie

Piera Gelardi
Co-founder & executive creative director, Refinery29

I feel most confident when I feel good mentally and physically. For me, that comes from taking care of myself in different ways—staying active, making time for things I love, staying connected with my partner, and knowing my own body. I think confidence is so much bigger than sexy lingerie…but having a bedtime outfit that makes me feel like a fox can be the icing on the cake.

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"Get On Top" safe sex campaign. Photos by STUDIO 1208
Photo: Studio 1208 for “Get On Top”

5. Safe is sexy

Meika Hollender
Co-founder, Sustain

Safe sex is having babies only if and when we want them. Safe sex is protecting our bodies from disease or infection at any age or stage of the game. Safe sex is when you want it. Safe sex is you in charge of you.

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"Get On Top" safe sex campaign. Photos by STUDIO 1208
Photo: Studio 1208 for “Get On Top”

6. Lighting is everything

Olivia Milch
Writer and director

I love afternoon light! It makes me feel beautiful and present. I also love a well-placed mirror—the human form is an incredible thing.

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"Get On Top" safe sex campaign. Photos by STUDIO 1208
Photo: Studio 1208 for “Get On Top”

7. You do you.

Vanessa Packer
Founder of ModelFit

I think confidence in the bedroom comes from being comfortable in your own skin and within your body. Do what you need to get to a place where you can be happy with the way you look and feel. If it means changing your diet, increasing your exercise routine, or getting a bikini wax and your hair done—then do it.

Don’t leave all your newfound confidence in the bedroom—read this for five ways to ooze confidence in the office and learn to love your body, with a little help from Kate Hudson.