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Scott-Vincent Borba’s specious holiday recipe for skin-firming spring rolls

Scott-Vincent Borba
Is Borba's skin balanced under all of that makeup? Your guess is as good as ours.

This New Year’s, skin-care impresario Scott-Vincent Borba (Demi Moore’s rumored new beau) is offering even more than his usual anti-aging cocktails and gummy-bear vitamins.

His recommended recipe for a holiday soiree?

“Scott-Vincent whips up Borba-cado Spring Rolls at many of the parties he hosts,” reads a press release. “A tasty, spicy mix of avocado, curry, cilantro, and more…” Okay, that sounds delicious and healthy!

It continues,”The filling is infused directly with Borba’s exclusive Firming Skin Balance Crystalline.”

Wait, what? We’re all about eating your way to better skin, but apparently the healthy fats and vitamins in the avocado (which will do natural wonders!) are not enough.

Borba thinks you should add sucralose (the artificial sweetener in Splenda) and Red No. 40.

Thank you, Mr. Borba, but no thanks. You’ve just landed our Wellness Wannabe Award of the week.