How To Find Your G-Spot With Your Hand, According to a Sexologist

Question:

I'm familiar with the G-spot, and I've learned how to access mine—but only with the help of a sex toy. Now though, I'm curious how to find your G-spot with your hand. Can you walk me through the process? How will I know if I go in too deep, and how will I know when I've found it?

Answer:

You're not alone in being enthusiastically curious about G-spot exploration; as a sexologist, anytime I’ve led workshops or panels about the G-spot, they sell out or overflow. I believe what makes this erogenous zone so exciting to learn about is a widespread understanding of how game-changing it can be for one's sex life, juxtaposed to a lack of experience to verify so much from firsthand knowledge.

And, indeed, it's great firsthand knowledge to have: Stimulating your G-spot can lead to squirting, a sexual response that causes orgasm and gushes liquid (female ejaculate) from your paraurethral or Skene's glands, through the urethra. People who squirt—which is different than vaginal secretions during arousal—describe it as an intense release or full-body orgasm and can experience unique, sexual wellness benefits. For just one example, a 2013 study found that 79 percent of squirters and 90 percent of their partners said squirting enriched their sex life.

With that in mind, I believe knowing how to find your G-spot with your hand can be an empowering step in each person's sexual journey. Here are common questions I receive about G-spots to help you find it on your own.

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1. Is it possible to find my G-spot with my hand?

Yes, it is. Before you start, make sure your hands are clean and your fingernails are not sharp because you’re going to be inserting them into a very sensitive area. It can also be helpful to place a towel under you for easy cleanup. Start off finding a comfortable position that allows you to sit up a bit in order to more easily reach your vagina. Place your less dominant hand on your lower belly, on top of your uterus, to apply gentle pressure. With your dominant hand slowly insert one or two fingers internally about one inch, curving your finger(s) towards your belly button.

2. How will I know if I go in too deep, and how will I know when I've found it?

It is best to be aroused before G-spot play so that fluids are flowing nicely in your pelvic area and the G-spot becomes more pronounced and easier to find. You will know you've found the G-spot when you feel a slightly ridged or different-textured area about one inch inside the vagina on the side facing your belly button.

3. After I find my G-spot how do I squirt?

Once you find your G-spot, begin stroking it with your finger(s) until you hear a watery, swooshing sound. In terms of motions, you have to find what works for you—some people prefer an up-and-down motion with two fingers rather than stroking with one. When you feel a fullness sensation, or like you have to pee, try to mentally ‘let go’ and relax your pelvis while you keep stimulating the G-spot with more intense pressure. You can apply a bit more pressure on your belly using your other hand to help you reach the spot even more. You should start to feel a dripping or squirting sensation shortly after, which can continue for several seconds as you keep pulsing it with pressure. Expect the fluid to be clear or milky with a slight gloss to it.

4. If I squirt does that mean I peed?

Well, it's complicated. When you squirt, about two ounces of liquid that is built up in the Skene’s gland exits the body through the urethra. The liquid is made up of an enzyme called prostatic-specific antigen (PSA) and may contain some traces of urine (though this is still up for scientific debate). Most people, I find, think this is going to be embarrassing until it actually happens. Afterwards, most people tell me that they felt an intense sexual satisfaction and were able to get an easy hygiene plan in place (e.g. waterproof sheets, use of a towel underneath, using the shower for this type of sex, etc.).

5. What if I’m having trouble finding my G-spot, or I am not able to squirt?

There are so many ways to enjoy pleasure, and this is just one way that may not work for your body right now. However, here are four sexual wellness hacks I’ve seen help people better enjoy G-spot play and increase their chances of squirting with some practice:

1. Try G-spot play when you are ovulating and your sex drive is the highest of the month. This is usually two weeks after you start menstruating.
2. Try an arousal oil. Foreplay and building up your sexual energy are underrated. Using an arousal oil can help you get turned on and gives your pelvic area—including your G-spot—more blood flow, which leads to higher sensitivity to touch.
3. Try a G-spot vibrator designed with a slight curve or bump that may allow for a better reach with lots of lube. As with all internal toys, I only recommend those made with medical-grade silicone and like to remind folks to only use water-based lubes and liquids with them.
4. Strengthening your pelvic-floor muscles may help increase your ability to squirt. You can strengthen your pelvic floor by doing kegels five minutes a day, either on your own or with a bit more guidance from pelvic-floor trainer tools that help you track your progress.

Finally, it's important to note that G-spot stimulation may not be particularly pleasurable for everyone. If you experience pain while trying, stop and explore only what feels good to you. Because ultimately, erogenous stimulation of any sort should bring you pleasure that factors into your sexual wellness.