You wear a GPS watch to keep track of your pace and distance while running, a heart-rate strap to make sure you’re effectively HIIT-ing all the right zones, and an Apple Watch to ensure you’re logging more than 10,000 steps a day. So what wearable device could your by-the-numbers life possibly be missing? How about a Fitbit-style number for your partner’s penis? (What a time to be alive!)
The i.Con Smart Condom, created by UK-based British Condoms, looks like an ordinary wearable for your wrist, Metro UK reports, but instead of tracking steps, sleep, or spin-class efficiency, the device uses a nano chip and sensors to measure all things sex related.
Despite its moniker, the i.Con Smart Condom isn’t a condom at all. Instead, it’s a ring that sits over a regular condom (so you’ll still need one of those) at the base of the penis. Once it’s in place, the device can track calories burned during intercourse, speed of thrusts, total number of thrusts, average velocity of thrusts, girth measurement, positions used, average skin temperature, and the duration of your sex session. Post coital, (whether you’re cuddling or having a snack—no judgment), the i.Con sends all that intel straight to the user’s smartphone. (Now would be a great time to make sure your phone is password protected!)
Sure, it may seem seem wildly unnecessary to know how many thrusts transpired in your latest romp, but the world’s first “smart condom” comes with a wellness-focused feature as well: A built-in LED emits a purple light if the i.Con detects STIs during sexual activity.
“It’s truly the next step in wearable tech, and we believe we have pioneered a product that will not only bring an extra element of fun into the bedroom, but will also help indicate potential STI’s present as well as prevent condom slippage,” John Simmons, a spokesperson for the condom brand, told Metro UK.
It’s also water resistant, and a one-hour charging session keeps it going for up to eight hours of “live usage.” So do with that what you will. The $81 one-size-fits-all device will be available starting in January, but preorder it now (the company reports 900,000 curious minds have already submitted inquiries about the product), and consider your man-friend holiday shopping done and done.
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