Thanks to movies and TV shows, the picture of having sex with someone for the first time goes a little something like this: You meet up for dinner, make out all the way home, then knock everything off the kitchen table before some mind-blowingly awesome sex. But that’s not necessarily how things go down IRL.
Oftentimes, getting in bed with someone new is kind of awkward; you’re still getting to know each other, after all. And because of that, going the distance might not be as satisfying as you built it up in your mind. That doesn’t mean it’s not going to get better, though. In real relationships—not the TV ones!—it might take a handful of encounters to discover whether you have a true sexual connection.
“Ask whether you find yourself looking forward to getting naked with your new squeeze.”
“Most women can sometimes warm to a partner who didn’t initially do it for them,” sex and relationship expert Stephen Snyder, MD, told Women’s Health. “At the beginning of a relationship, you’re just getting the official tour. Sooner or later, you’ll want to go where they don’t take the tourists.” Spicy!
It might take a while to reach a relationship’s full sexual potential, but if you’re getting impatient, take your emotional temperature. “Ask whether you find yourself looking forward to getting naked with your new squeeze,” Snyder said. If you do, keep giving the relationship a chance. And if not, well: “Maybe consider breaking it off before you get too attached to them.”
Whether you decide to stick it out or not, don’t discount late bloomers. You never know what orgasm-worthy tricks someone has up their sleeve until they’re comfortable enough to unleash them.
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