At this point, pretty much everyone sees the Queer Eye Fab Five as their internet boyfriends—you know, the kind of human who’s perfect in every way and never fails to offer the best advice on everything your heart desires, like how to properly use coconut oil and master the art of glowy skin. And, as if we needed to further fuel our fandom, culture guru Karamo Brown has your back on the love front, too.
When it comes to your IRL special someone (rather than your obsession with five super-charming, well-dressed dudes on a Netflix show), Brown has some genius tips on how to have a healthy and successful relationship. Being the gent he is, he shared them all on Instagram so everyone can implement his expertise.
Here are 3 tips for relationship success, straight from Karamo Brown.
1. Set clear boundaries from the beginning
It may not seem important to establish boundaries in your relationship from the get-go, but Brown says it’s a must. “Having a relationship with no boundaries is like driving through traffic with no stop signs. It’s reckless,” he says. “People need to understand when they can go, when they need to stop, when they need to slow down, and when they can turn left or right. And the only way they can know that is by you setting boundaries for them.”
2. Think of your relationship as a bank account
When you regard your relationship as you would a bank account to budget, things suddenly become a whole lot clearer. “If you withdraw a lot from your relationship, eventually you’re going to be in the red. So you constantly need to reinvest,” Brown says. “If you withdraw by not communicating, the next time you reinvest, you need to communicate. But you also need to do a little bit more—maybe a romantic gesture. That’s how you add to the relationship, so it’s flourishing and growing.”
3. Understand that trauma from your past will eventually come up
Everyone has a past. And those issues you dealt with in relationships with previous partners will eventually resurface. As scary as that may be, the Brown says the smart way to deal is to be open. “You might have experienced mistrust, and that might rear its ugly head, but it’s okay. Acknowledge it, let the other person know, and allow yourself to grow through that by talking about it.”
#YASSS, that’s all. Just #YASSS.
Here are six signs it’s time for your relationship to end. Or, here’s everything you need to know about orbiting, the latest trend to plague your relationship-seeking universe.
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