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Lip disservice: Vitamin Water–flavored Lip Smackers

Vitaminschtick balms make health claims they shouldn'tVITAMINSCHTICK! That’s what they’re calling the offspring of Vitamin Water (which you are familiar with if you’ve been in any NYC deli ever) and Lip Smacker glosses (which you know from fifth grade).

So I am probably not the intended demographic of these schticks—because I know the real meaning of that word. But I take issue with the new balms, roll-on glosses, and biggies (big balms?) containing faux vitamins and faux flavors that flaunt health benefits:

“Vitaminschtick® balms have all the intense flavors of your favorite vitamin water with a dose of healthy goodness…the flavored balms offer lip refreshment that’s as good for your lips as it tastes.”

Despite its aura as a drinkable nutritional supplement, Vitamin Water’s sugar content makes it no more healthy than a soda. And the antioxidant ingredients in the balms may sound like you’re smearing yourself in fruit puree, but at best the quality and amount of the acai, blueberry, and pomegranate in XXX (the names mirror the beverages) are probably same as Skittles.