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How does meditation affect your dating and sex life?


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Photo: Stocksy/Nabi Tang

People who meditate tend to be pretty passionate about their mindfulness practice—like your friend who loves it so much, she actually inspired you to get up 30 minutes early to get in on some the magic by trying it yourself. Considering the practice has been tied to, you know, just tiny little things like keeping your brain young and alleviating chronic pain, it’s probably worth your time.

Plus, some regular Zen seshes may also lead to more successful dating experiences, according to a new study, which tracked two groups of eHarmony users. One group used the Stop, Breathe & Think meditation app, and the other did not. The meditating group ended up being much more active online daters, viewing 92 percent more of their matches than their non-meditating counterparts.

Why the added enthusiasm for online dating, which—let’s face it—can be a frustrating enterprise? “Meditation improves your ‘picker,'” says Tal Rabinowitz, founder and CEO of  The DEN Meditation in Los Angeles, who shared some other tricks of the trade and things she’s witnessed while running a successful meditation space.

“Your sex life will just become more connected, more fun, and more free.” —Tal Rabinowitz, The DEN Meditation founder and CEO

Mindfulness exercises can make you “less fixated on the goal of having a relationship, and more aware of your own personal needs and what type of relationship will enhance your day to day,” she says.

And she added that meditation also “helps you avoid the emotional roller coaster.” As, when people meditate more, it helps them set clear boundaries—which in the long-term might mean you won’t need to deal with as much unhealthy drama. And when conflict does happen, “Meditation helps you see things from a less reactive state,” Rabinowitz says.

If you’re out of the dating pool and in a relationship, a meditation practice is helpful for three reasons, Rabinowitz says. First, it improves communication because “you are able to think before you speak and understand what it is you want to say” without being reactive or impulsive. It can also help you become more present (AKA, no more smartphone-staring dinners), teaching you to take care of yourself, which allows you to care for your partner in more profound ways. Lastly, Rabinowitz says that meditation will improve your between-the-sheets life: “Your sex life will just become more connected, more fun, and more free.”

So who’s up for waking up 30 minutes early tomorrow?

If your love life is feeling a little sour, it might have to do with the apps you’re using or dating burnout.