Shocker: The most sought-after trait in a date *isn’t* good looks


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Everyone has a wish list of the traits they want their future partner to have. (Expert guacamole makers, get at me.) Ever wonder what requests top the list? It turns out that it isn’t having a wicked sense of humor, holding down a kickass job, or being good with kids. (Or even being ridiculously hot.) According to a survey of 2,000 singles by dating app Plenty of Fish, something else topped the list.

Rating even higher than physical attraction, the survey found that most singles consider meaningful conversations the most important factor when looking for a healthy relationship. The bulk of the people surveyed not only are looking for someone they click with, they also want their potential partner to know how to communicate well: In fact, 58 percent of people say bad grammar is a deal-breaker, even more so than bad sex. (If that isn’t motivation enough to proofread your messages before meeting IRL, I don’t know what is.)

Speaking of messaging your match, the survey highlights another potential deal-breaker: leaving a message on “read” and not replying. Uhh spoiler alert: Virtually no one likes that.

The takeaway to scoring points with someone you like: Communicate promptly, using proper English. As for the chemistry part? Well, there’s no cheat for that one.

Originally published on April 24, 2018; updated on August 23, 2018.

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