I watched “The Bachelor” for the first time and all I got was a new workout routine

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Photo: The ABC Television Network. (ABC/Rick Rowell)

Last night, I lost my Bachelor virginity.

After spending 22 seasons as a pop culture pariah who had to mute her group text and Twitter notifications for 18 hours starting at 8 p.m. on Monday nights, three of my friends finally talked me into seeing what all of the fuss was about over in Bachelor Nation. And…wow.

I could write a small novel on my initial reactions to the show—and feel like now is the appropriate time to admit that I spent most of this morning Googling “How do I get on The Bachelor?”—but there was one thing that really stuck out to me: The women on this show are strong AF. And while I will most definitely not be stealing flirting tactics from them (personally, I’ve never seen any guy respond well to girls talking badly about each other, no matter how artfully mastered their hair flips are), I will be giving a rose to their workout routine.

The episode I tuned in for on January 21st featured a “strongest woman challenge” group date, which required the women to undergo a series of really, really intense-looking physical feats. After a solid 3-minute montage of Colton Underwood (the titular bachelor) and his abs doing full-body battle rope moves, which was quite frankly the highlight of my week, it was his suitors’ turn. The producers put them through a gauntlet of hilarious-yet-hard wedding-related workout activities, including:

  • A cake push (AKA pushing a sled with 100 pounds of weight on it, decorated like a three-tier wedding cake)
  • A ring flip (AKA flipping a massive tire that would have been right at home at a monster truck rally)
  • A limo pull (literally pulling a limo)
  • A heavy heart battle (AKA sprinting with a medicine ball above your head)

Lemme tell you: I was damn impressed. One of the women legit pulled a limo across a dirt road. Apparently, finding love on national television is an A+ way to motivate for a workout. While I sadly don’t have a team of producers to put together a Bachelor-inspired routine in the center of Equinox for me, there actually is a way to recreate the ladies’ workout routine in your own gym (sans shirtless Colton, unfortunately). Instead of pushing a “cake,” you can push a sled with weights on top, and running or elliptical-ing sprints while holding a medicine above your head is a great way to amp up cardio. As for pulling a full-length limo, though, that one is probably best left for TV.

As the bachelor himself said on Monday night, behind every strong man is an even stronger woman—which is why I’ll be recreating this routine in the gym while I get ready to send in my audition tape for season 24.

In addition to borrowing exercise moves from The Bachelor, I am also Marie Kondo-ing my fitness and only doing workouts that make me happy. And if you need a little motivation of your own, Jillian Michaels can help

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