Ellie Kemper waxing poetic about finding the best SoulCycle bike is the best thing you’ll read today


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Photo: Getty Images/Monica Schipper

After you’ve booked enough classes at a cycling studio, you quickly learn which bikes you want—and, more importantly, which ones you don’t. After thousands of rides, even the toughest machines start to act a little wonky while you’re bobbing around to a fire Beyoncé playlist, so scoring one of the prime options literally makes you feel like you’re sweatin’ on a throne. And no one knows that feeling better than Ellie Kemper.

The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt star recently released her first book, My Squirrel Days, and in it, she devotes an entire section to one of her favorite pastimes: SoulCycle. Considering she’s hit over 500 rides (something even she was stunned by), she’s pedaled her way through enough 45-minute sweat sessions to know the joys of having the best bike in class. And any avid spinner can certainly relate to her words.

“I had signed up for Bike 11 on purpose. It was truly a lottery win—the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.” —Ellie Kemper

“I had signed up for Bike 11 on purpose. It was truly a lottery win—the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Bike 11 had knobs that were not too tight, but neither were they too loose. The seat did not wobble; the handlebars were firm. The fans blew on Bike 11 with breezes unknown to Bikes 12, 10, or any other bike in the studio. And yet better than any of this, higher still on the list of Bike 11’s many selling points, was the perfect view enjoyed by its lucky rider,” she wrote. “The sliver of mirror between the rider on the podium stage (yes, at SoulCycle, there are bicycles on a stage) and the riders to the side of the stage is precisely the right amount to give the rider of Bike 11 the confidence she needs. With this mirror sliver, a rider is able to see only the left part of her face and her left arm. And as any decently vain person knows, when a mirror reflects only half of you, you look really good.”

Could she have described the perks of that prime SoulCycle spot any better? Now if that doesn’t remind you why you should book a bike the second the sign-up window opens, nothing will.

How a SoulCycle rider lost 110 pounds—and became an all-star instructor. Or, snag the travel secrets of a master SoulCycle instructor.

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