Roses and artisanal chocolate are pretty awesome, but when it comes to keeping a relationship strong, they don’t hold a (softly lit, romantically fragranced) candle to one-on-one time on the mat when it comes to keeping your relationship strong.
“One of the best ways to create more intimacy in your relationships is by establishing and maintaining open lines of communication,” says Abby Vernon, an instructor at San Diego’s Yoga Six, which offers partner classes meant to deepen a couple’s bond. “In partner yoga, communication is key in order to cultivate a sense of safety and trust, as well as hold space for laughter and play.”
Vernon crafted a two-person routine that can help couples (and BFFs) explore and strengthen a relationship. She suggests completing the series twice, holding each pose for three to five full breaths. So grab a partner—whoever that may be—and hit the mat for a way to create an entirely new level of a love connection.
- Centering: Sit face to face with your partner in a cross-legged position with your hands on one another’s knees. If this is uncomfortable for your low back, sit on a pillow or bolster for support. Take a moment to truly see the other person. Sometimes we get so busy during our daily lives that we forget to take time to truly look our partners in the eye and appreciate them for who they are.
- Seated cat-cow: Reach for one another’s forearms and interlace, creating a gentle bind (or reinforcing your bond). Find equal resistance between you and your partner as you draw your shoulders back and down. Inhale and lift your heart toward the sky to extend the spine, allowing your head to arc back if it feels appropriate for your neck. As you exhale, draw your chin to your chest and round your upper back, gazing in towards your belly button and spreading your shoulder blades wide. Allow your breath to lead the way as you continue this motion, flowing through spinal flexion and extension together.
- Seated Spinal Twist: Begin in a seated position facing your partner, legs crossed (same position as Centering). Cross your arms and reach for each others’ hands. Initiate a twist from the base of your spine, twisting in opposition of your partner and using his or her hands to deepen the twist. Check in with your partner, make sure they are breathing steadily and feel comfortable. You may feel a slight chest and shoulder opener during this one, so be sure to communicate. Release on an exhale and slowly repeat on the other side.
- Back to Back Dialogue: Sit back to back with your partner in a cross legged position (again using support if desired). Take a few deep breaths in silence and focus on feeling your partner’s breath. Notice how when you’re close, your breaths tend to sync up and match one another. If you feel open to it, take turns speaking about what’s on your mind. Give each person at least three minutes to share without interruption, acknowledgement or feedback. This is a powerful exercise in listening and noticing how the conversation changes when you cannot engage or see your partner’s face. Be open to whatever they have to say and merely give them a “thank you” when their time is up.
- Back to Back Backbend/Forward Fold: Begin seated, back to back. Have one partner extend his legs and lean forward into a fold (for tight hamstrings bend the knees slightly, or place a rolled up towel under the knees for support). The other partner places both feet on the floor and slowly presses backward, potentially into a gentle backbend. This couples formation stretches her spine and chest (backbend) while releasing his back and opening the hamstrings (forward fold). Be sure to check in with your partner on this one as sensitive lower backs and tight hamstrings are very common.
- Back to Back Shoulder Stretch: Stand back to back, extend your arms out wide into a T position. Interlace hands with one another, pressing the palms together. Keep your arms engaged as one partner gently pulls on the others’ palms to create a stretch across the chest and shoulders.
- Back to Back Chair: Stand back to back and relax your arms by your sides. Press firmly into one another to maintain balance as you first walk the feet to hip-width apart, and then away from your partner’s. Slowly begin to lower down as if you’re sitting on a chair. Once you’ve reached a 90-degree angle in your knees, hold for three to five steady breaths. Push into each other to rise back up. This playful exercise strengthens body and mind, while creating a deeper sense of trust.
- Seated Bound Angle: Sit facing one another and find a long spine. Have one person bring the soles of her feet together and the other extend his legs long, feet against her shins (feel free to bend your knees if you have tight hamstrings). Reach for one another’s forearms and interlace. The person with extended legs pulls the other forward slightly, tuning in to her breath as he deepens the stretch. This pose opens the outer hips, inner thighs, and low back while cultivating intimacy and support.
- Lateral Side Bend: Sit facing your partner in a straddle stretch with your feet—his and hers—together. Reach for each other’s same side hand (right to right or left to left) and connect forearm to wrist. Take a deep breath in. On the exhale, bend sideways toward the extended arm as you stretch the opposite arm overhead. Side body stretching is integral for creating space between the ribs and facilitating fuller, deeper breaths.
- Flying Warrior: Flying Warrior calls for the strongest sense of trust and communication between partners. To begin, the base partner lies on his back, knees bent, legs lifted toward the sky. His partner, the “flyer,” stands in front of him, clasping hands and leaning into his feet. The base partner adjusts his feet in her hip crease, toes slightly turned out for comfort. The base partner keeps his arms strong as the flyer leans her weight into his feet. With trust and a mutually communicated sense of security, the base slowly extends his legs, and she takes flight. Flying warrior cultivates a sense of stability, freedom and playfulness. If you feel comfortable and safe, release the hand clasp and enjoy another level of excitement! We suggest always having a spotter nearby for support, and/or a soft surface to land on.
Originally posted February 12, 2016. Updated August 2, 2019.
Bonus: Yoga can also improve your sex life. And here’s how to keep your longterm relationship exciting, with or without a couple’s flow.
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