If the “Queer Eye” Cast Were Cocktails, Here’s What They’d Be

Photo: Vita Coco
The Fab Five is currently everyone's favorite clique (sorry not sorry, Kardashian/Jenners). And their likability goes beyond their ability to turn out a fierce makeover—their friendships radiate out of the TV so you can feel the love in your living room.

Recently, when the show's resident food and drink guru, Antoni Porowski, was in town to promote his new partnership with Vita Coco Sparkling, I took the opportunity to really put his knowledge of his fellow castmates' personalities to the test. If Jonathan, Tan, Bobby, and Karamo were cocktails, I asked him, what would they be? Porowski was more than down to play.

But here's the twist: The cocktails all had to be healthy. (Hey, just trying to avoid a redneck margarita situation here!) Ready to see what he came up with?

Scroll down to see the signature cocktails Antoni created for each Queer Eye guy.

My outfit coordinates so well with the walls I had to get a pic ? #alwaysdesigning

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Bobby Berk

"Bobby has been all about veganism lately, eating a mostly vegan diet. I'd make a super healthy drink for him using Vita Coco Sparkling Grapefruit," Porowski says. "I'd add in a lot of ice and put it in a chilled glass because Bobby likes his drinks really cold. Then, I'd put a nice skewer of dehydrated grapefruit slices on top because he's all about small details like that—it really impresses him."

Tan France

"No one knows this about us, but Tan and I are actually grandmas—we love to drink our chamomile tea at night. So for him, I'd make a very floral, concentrated hibiscus tea by steeping the concentrate," Porowski says. Serve it with seltzer (Porowski recommends—what else—the pineapple passionfruit flavor of Vita Coco Sparkling) to create a sparkling iced tea.

Jonathan Van Ness

"Jonathan loves drinking either champagne or margaritas," Porowski says, so he'd add some bubbly in the form of raspberry lime sparkling coconut water—which has way less sugar than a margarita mix—to some tequila. "I'd make it super chilled because he gets hot easily. So his drink would be a sparkling tequila raspberry lime cocktail."

Antoni Porowski

"I'm a white Polish boy and am very sensitive to spice. Cayenne makes my mouth burn forever, but ginger I actually love," Porowski says. "It's intense but doesn't linger." So for his ideal cocktail, Antoni says he'd use a lemon-ginger sparkling coconut water for his base (which, again, has less sugar than cocktail staples like ginger ale or ginger beer) and load in oranges, tangerines, and clementines for a citrusy punch.

Trying vs. Reality #Swipe ?? We’re actually goofballs ? w/ @antoni #Fab5

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Karamo Brown

"You know what, I have to be honest. Literally all Karamo drinks is coke or beer. He doesn't even drink water!" Porowski says. "I'm not even going to attempt to make a cocktail for him. I'd just toss him a beer."

If you want to up your own summer cocktail game, try your hand at this avocado margarita or this grapefruit frose

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