In Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade—spoilers for a 30-year-old film—Jones presented with a slew of false elaborate Holy Grails, many that will grant instant death, but one that promises eternal life. Instead of choosing a bejeweled goblet and becoming a cloud of dust, hechooses the simplest clay cup. And there it is: the real life-giving grail hidden among them. I was similarly brought to life after being introduced to Maude Vibe, the nondescript yet beloved hero of my nightstand. And readers agree: the Vibe sold out big-time early in the pandemic (before being restocked in September), making it the best sex toy of 2020 and a quarantine-and-beyond must-have.
So why is this simple, small, yet statuesque personal massager the pandemic’s best in show? Accessibility, accessibility, accessibility. 2020 saw the rise of self pleasure as a natural and normal form of self care, and Vibe’s exquisitely neutral design fits casually in that methodology. Vibe is neither aggressively styled or highly gendered; it has an inclusive look that feels perfectly primed to pleasure all bodies.
Shop Now: Maude Vibe, $45
It has three settings, is completely ergonomic, and can be easily steered for reliable, keep-’em-coming clitoral stimulation, which is the easiest way for vulva-owners to reach orgasm. Oh, and during in a time marked by economic collapse, it’s only $45. That is very rare for a vibrator of this quality.
“We wanted to give consumers a modern, people-first experience that made them feel comfortable and we wanted to create body-safe, well-designed products that were universally appealing,” says Maude founder and CEO Éva Goicochea. “We want to be modern sex for all adults.”
Let’s actually embellish on the body-safe aspect for a moment, shall we? Because the market is flooded with toys that are either body-safe and worth triple digits, or are porous, jelly dildo vag-poison. Vibe is a rarity that doesn’t put its material at a hostage’s price point, and it’s good material.
“Platinum-grade silicone is a non-toxic type of silicone that doesn’t contain any chemical fillers or byproducts, making it safe to use with all bodies,” says Goicochea. “This grade of silicone is made without petroleum-based chemicals, BPA, BPS, or fillers. In the sexual wellness space and the wellness industry in general, it’s important to understand what materials and ingredients you are putting in and around your body.”
Still not convinced? Well, take this as gospel: I have spent the entirety of 2020, before lockdown to pandemic Christmas, testing out vibrators. Don’t get me wrong, the ones with bells and whistles are appreciated too, and every rave is based in merit. But if a friend, especially one whose never used a sex toys, asked me for a vibrator recommendation, it would be this one. This would’ve been my best in show even if readers strongly disagreed, but it can woo a professional pleasure-seeker and more than satisfy a skittish newbie. The numbers don’t lie, baby.
So there you have it, your life-saving quarantine holy grail. Use it in good health, and we’ll see you in 2021.
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