Can’t Find Love? A Little Spiritual Exploration May Help You Get There

“He’s just not that into you” was a liberating catch-phrase for women 10 years ago.

But author Gabrielle Bernstein, a Tony Robbins-meets-Carrie Bradshaw self-help guru, would call that a fear-based romantic illusion. Just like “I’m not good enough without a partner” or “I’m unlovable.”

Bernstein’s newest project, Medidating: Meditations for Fearless Romance, is based on the idea that finding love takes serious spiritual work. And as Valentine’s Day approaches, other young, hip inner-life seekers seem to be on the same page.

Medidating is an 11-track CD of guided meditations, divided into two parts. The first seven tracks are focused on banishing the fears and negative belief systems you’ve picked up from past relationships, and the last three are about “manifesting more romance in your life.”

“When we start to release the fear, we reconnect to an energy of peace, inspiration, and self-worth,” says Bernstein.”That energy, in effect, is what attracts the partner.”

Erika Shannon agrees. Shannon, a New York City fitness instructor, is hosting “Make Love NYC” with Erin Stutland and Margaret Nichols on February 11.

The day-long event involves a dance-based workout, spiritual exploration, meditation, and life coaching. Just like Bernstein's Medidating, Shannon says the day will teach you how to move away from fear and clear bad energy from past relationships,  in order to open yourself up to future ones.

"Self-responsibility is the ultimate sexy,” says Shannon. “Empowerment changes a wall flower into someone who will attract love.”

So, while he or she may very well be “not that into you,” it’s not because your nose is too big or you talked about your parents too much on the first date.

It could be because you’re not so into yourself. And a little guided spiritual reflection may help change that. –Lisa Elaine Held

Medidating Launch, Wednesday, February 8, ABC Home's Deepak Homebase, 888 Broadway at 19th St., $10 (includes a copy of the CD), www.gabbyb.tv

Make Love NYC, Saturday, February 11, 10:30 a.m.—5:00 p.m., TACT Studio, 900 Broadway (at 20th St.), $95, www.makelovenyc.com