There are lots of things to love about honey. First off, it’s a skin savior—as a gentle (and cheap) facial cleanser and as a hydrating, acne-fighting mask. The natural sweetener also has proteins and enzymes that can actually heal the gut lining. And you probably have at least one Manuka-crazed friend who relies on it during cold and flu season.
Still, I guarantee you’ll never look at honey the same way after hearing comedian Max Silvestri’s epic takedown of the sticky stuff.
It all went down on a recent episode of the buzzy Las Culturistas podcast—which has an “I don’t think so, honey!” rant segment at the end. Silvestri dedicated his venting time to reveal his hate for, well, honey itself.
His disdain is deep and specific—like someone who has read all the info on honey, tried to get on board, but is just not having it.
“You are sugar that refuses to own a TV. You are sugar on rollerblades trying to explain to a group of girls at a party what Inception was about.” —Comedian Max Silvestri
“You taste weird. You are annoying sugar. You are sugar that refuses to own a TV. You are sugar on rollerblades trying to explain to a group of girls at a party what Inception was about. Congrats, you figured out how to make tea worse,” Silvestri starts off before finishing with one final stinger for the buzzy superfood: “You’re a sticky Thighmaster covered in flies.”
Hosts Bowen Yang and Matt Rogers declared it a slay. “But I will say this: I like honey,” Rogers says. Honestly, I’m not so sure anymore.
If you’re feeling Silvestri’s honey hate, here are some other natural sweeteners you can reach for instead. And, pro tip: Skip the Splenda.
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