“The only thing in our entire lives that is forever, is our relationship to ourselves," says Cycles + Sex founder and Well+Good Retreat co-leader Lauren Bille. "So, it’s the most important relationship to grow and nurture." For her, this means setting up supportive routines (daily meditations help her to create a blank slate each morning) as well as self check-ins so that she remains authentic to herself as she's achieving her goals.
Throughout the day, Bille carries a list (on a real piece of paper—no notes apps here) with her. It allows her to identify counterproductive feelings that she has, and then work to remedy them. For instance, in a moment of anxiety, she pulls out her list and reminds herself to breathe. When she's tired, she knows that she needs to do things that remind her to slow down, such as meditate and drink water.
“Life is complicated and the days are busy and long, and breaking patterns of thinking or behavior takes practice,” Bille says. This list acts as a kind of blueprint for self-care and growth for Bille and has helped her improve and take control of the ever-so-important relationship she has with herself.
To create one for yourself, set aside ten minutes to workshop feelings or actions you have that aren't serving your goals, and write those down on the left side of the paper. Directly opposing them, pen down actionable responses, so that in the heat of the moment, you can remedy any given situation.
“By doing this work where I become aware about how and why I act or think a certain way, [I create] a kind of mindfulness around myself," Bille says. "With that knowledge, I can then have the capacity to change it. This list that we are talking about is the tool that allows me to change it faster.” And of course, once you become kind and considerate of yourself, it also becomes easier for the rest to all fall into place.
For more hands-on workshops and ways to tap into your inner truth, come to the Well+Good Retreats, where Bille will be leading daily workshops. Email firstname.lastname@example.org to lock down your spot.
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