According to astrologers, checking out someone's sun sign (which is what you tend to read for in a daily horoscope) isn't necessarily the best indicator of the way they navigate challenges. Since Mercury, the planet of communication, is so integral to the way in which we talk things out, that's the planet that's best associated with deescalating a fight. (To find your Mercury sign, input the time, date, and location of your birth and into an astrology app or online birth chart generator.)
"When you're looking at someone's Mercury sign, you're getting an idea of how they're processing their thoughts." —astrologer Monisha Holmes, MSW
“When you're looking at someone's Mercury sign, you're possibly getting an idea of how they're processing their thoughts and what they might value,” says astrologer and social worker Monisha Holmes, MSW. The sign that a person’s Mercury is in may also clue you in to how they think others should conceptualize conflict.
- Monisha Holmes, MSW, astrologer, social worker, and founder of Black Women Being
Read on to learn how Holmes says someone fights based on their Mercury sign.
Below, learn how the zodiac signs fight (and how to resolve conflict with each), based on their Mercury placement
If fiery Aries doesn’t see the value in an issue, they might not be interested in resolving a conflict surrounding it. For that reason, when you’re trying to make peace with the ram, you want to first make clear to them that resolution is important to you.
“They may not always be able to understand why someone may be approaching them with a particular conflict, so the first thing is to set that value, and hopefully that'll make them realize, ‘Oh, that should be important to me,'” says Holmes.
Since it takes a lot for the bull to change their perspective, when you fight with Earth sign Taurus, you first want to show willingness to understand where they’re coming from. All of that said, even if Taurus comes around to seeing your side of things, they’re not assuredly going to agree with it, so you might benefit from agreeing to disagree.
Ruled by Mercury, Gemini loves to think out loud during fights, which requires a lot of patience for those seeking to resolve a conflict with them. “It's easier to work with Gemini when you're a close friend or a loved one,” says Holmes, which is why she suggests appealing to the fact that you’re close to them, stating the issue, and then being open to Gemini expressing themselves. (Read: Once you’ve stated your qualm, let Gemini have uninterrupted retort time.)
Due to their nurturing essence, Cancers often orient themselves around others, says Holmes, and it’s not really in their nature to fight. Instead, they go above and beyond in their day-to-day interactions to avoid conflict, Holmes says. On the off chance that you find yourself beefing with a Cancer, though, show them that you know them and care about them—and remind them that they’re not a burden to you.
When there's a fight going on, Leo processes things in their head before speaking them out with other people, says Holmes. “They also try to anticipate people’s needs so they don’t have to have conflict,” she adds. Plus, when Leos know they’ve done something wrong, they’re usually quick to apologize. In terms of how this zodiac sign fights, there may be some pushback if they don't feel they've erred.
A challenge you might run into with regard to fighting with a Virgo is that they don’t really share their thoughts, says Holmes, which might make it difficult to resolve conflict. One of two things may happen with a Virgo: They don’t expect the conflict because they feel they already did everything right, or they might have low expectations of themselves and take a “you knew what you were getting into” attitude, says Holmes. So, when approaching Virgo to resolve something, Holmes suggests you “be reasonable and be calm. There’s a level of poise that's important to Virgo. There’s no lashing out or acting a fool.”
Libra's harmonious nature might mean that they keep their emotions to themselves instead of expressing them and risking conflict, says Holmes. They love to show up for people and ensure that they’re cared for, but some folks inevitably get left out. If that’s you, a little bit of empathy can go a long way, since keeping things in balance might be something that Libra struggles with when they have too many balls in the air, says Holmes.
Knowing that Scorpio is highly observant is key for navigating conflict with them. "When you come to a Scorpio [in a fight], you have to also keep in mind that they were probably studying you the entire time, so they're going to have a retort," says Holmes. Like Libra, Scorpio likes to have balance—and sometimes that means they'll let you know how you wronged them, too. It's a good plan to approach conflict resolution with a Scorpio as a growth opportunity, because the sign is all about death, rebirth, and transformation.
According to Holmes, freedom-loving Sagittarius, like Virgo, believes that there's a necessary level of decorum regardless of whether or not people are fighting. Because of that, others might see them as cold or harsh. In order to best deal with how this zodiac sign fights, it might behoove you to first let them know how you're feeling—but definitely skip the yelling. “From then on, they’ll probably work with you to clear the conflict,” says Holmes.
“What’s hard with Capricorn is that they can be a little callous,” says Holmes. As the goal-oriented sign of the zodiac, Capricorn wants most things to have a practical purpose and baked-in level of maturity, including with conversations. “Capricorn will listen, and then Capricorn will respond,” says Holmes, adding that the chat might resemble a formal debate (so, try to not interrupt them when they’re talking).
It's best to let an Aquarian know in the moment about a conflict happening because they might have a hard time seeing the issue at a later time. (Think: "Well, why didn't you say anything earlier?") The good news is that Aquarians take an interest in others' perspectives and are open to being wrong. The not-so-good news, says Holmes, is that their air sign nature means you might have to give them gentle reminders about it.
“Sometimes, Pisces might just not understand where another person is coming from. The concept of conflict might be absolutely foreign to them,” says Holmes, adding that this topic might have to be revisited. To resolve a fight with a Pisces, then, it's important to help them understand why it’s important to you. The ever-empathic Pisces wants to understand, so it’s important to not talk to them in a condescending manner.
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