The Beginner’s Guide to Sex Toys for Couples—Because Toys Aren’t Just for Solo Time

When it comes to intimacy with your S.O., dirty talk and mutual self pleasure may be the stars in your playbook. But if you’re in a long-term relationship, you may also be ready to take the current routine to new heights. So, how else can you light up the erotic energy? Sex toys for couples are a good place to start. (Yep, that vibrator stashed in your nightstand for alone time isn't the only way to play.)

But opening this proverbial door can feel murky for some couples, whether it's due to lack of experience, nerves, or even shyness. So, how do you, well, begin? "Be patient with each other. Don’t force it,” says certified sex therapist, Jacqueline N. Mendez, LMFT. "Sex toys are about having fun and learning about what feels good to you."

Mendez puts adult toys into six primary categories: vibrators, dildos, anal toys, sleeves, pumps (toys that provide sucking sensations), and packers (aka prosthetics). In the spirit of demystifying couple's play, we're breaking down the best places to start for beginners, starting with the shame-free and sex-positive options from JimmyJane™—the brand on a mission to make sexual wellness fun and empowering.

Once you start experimenting, keep the dialogue open and honest with your partner. "It’s easier to talk about sex toys with partners when someone speaks about it from how it helped them feel versus what it is supposed to do—especially if one partner is more experienced than the other," advises Mendez. From there, Mendez says, it’s all about consent—how and where the gadget will be used—whether you're using it as the star of the show or for foreplay. Get ready to turn up the heat with the picks below.

Keep scrolling and find the best sex toys for couples that will boost your erotic connection, together.

Vibrating Toys

According to Mendez, any self-pleasure tool can be a sex toy, and experimenting with these gadgets is part of the fun. "Finding something that works for you during solo play and then bringing your partners in later keeps things fresh," she says.

If this brought to mind vibrators (ding ding ding!), here's where to start: The ASCEND 3™, DEIMOS™, and NEPTUNE 2™ are pulsating vibrators that can be used alone or together. If you’re seeking clitoral stimulation (for that, the ASCEND 3™ is your go-to), even more oomph (try DEIMOS™ for max clitoral vibrations), or prostate pleasure (consider NEPTUNE 2™), each well-being toy has intuitive remote controls that can dial up the intensity for a spontaneous surprise.

Massage Oils

Just remember, the orgasmic climax isn’t the only part of an erotic experience. “Everything begins with foreplay,” says Mendez. “Perhaps start with a non-genital area of the body. This would also be a great way to find other erogenous zones in each other.”

Heighten the mood with touch before introducing a sex toy into the equation with sensual add-ons like the citrusy HYDRATE MASSAGE OIL™ or aromatic VELVET SPICE™ candle. "Massage oils are a nice way of helping each other relax and begin to play," Mendez notes.

Vibrating panties

“Keep introducing different parts of your erotic energy to each other,” says Mendez. “You can also discover new ways to play with each other.” If the word "new" piqued your interest, may we suggest you add vibrating panties to your list?

The JimmyJane™ VIBRATING PANTIES COLLECTION™ combines dressing up (think sheer lace) and sensation play (a silicone vibrator that’s controlled by you or your partner) in one discreet, remote-controlled package. Choose from three styles (an open-back lacy number, a standard cheeky, or a keyhole bikini), and you can pick your vibe... and, ahem, vibrator.

Top photo: JimmyJane and Well+Good Creative

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