Self-Care Tips

How to Harness Sexual Energy to Manifest the Passion-Filled Life of Your Dreams

Mary Grace Garis

Photo: Stocksy/Leandro Crespi
We all know that an amazing romp in the sheets can give you life—sometimes even literally. (It ain’t the stork dropping off babies, after all.) That said, being connected with your sexuality in a super-authentic way can be notably fulfilling in myriad creative ways. For instance, you can use a practice like sexual transmutation to fortify your life and bring your most treasured dreams into reality.

Sexual transmutation is essentially the expansion of our sexual energy to co-create with the divine, says Corina Crysler, transformational astrologer and solo sacred sexuality mentor. Co-creation, she says, allows us to attract the things we desire into our life. And sexual energy itself, to be clear, doesn't exclusively rely on you masturbating so much that you hurt yourself.

"Sexual energy doesn't have to be about the act of sex, and you do not need a partner to activate it—it's your life force that connects you to your soul point and the cosmos." —Corina Crysler, sacred sexuality mentor

"Sexual energy doesn't have to be about the act of sex, and you do not need a partner to activate it," says Crysler. "Sexual energy is your life force that connects you to your soul point and the cosmos. It holds the energetic imprint of your consciousness and soul map. It is you in the fullest illumination of who you are."

To put it simply, being in touch with our sexual energy put us in touch with our most authentic selves in a happy, healthy, mindful way. That allows us to bring more positivity into our vortex. Do you want a fulfilling job? Are you an artist facing a creative block? Would you like to bring in love that's honest and true? Being in tune with your sexual energy can put you on a higher plane to reach and grab what you want.

But first, 6 things that can block sexual energy

1. Being close-minded about the practice

If you’re trying to activate your sexual energy in kind of an eye roll-y way, then you’re not likely to get incredible results. There needs to be genuine trust in the process.

"We have to understand that this is a consciousness that we have to be in resonance with," says Crysler. "If we are not open to this, it's likely that the energy will not manifest in the ways you desire."

2. Maintaining a negative state of mind

"What we attract matches our personal energy," Crysler says. "Therefore, lower energies that are considered to be dense, like shame, guilt, fear, resentment, anger, and lack of gratitude, all create stagnation of transmutation and a lack of co-creation in the direction you desire."

3. Not having a healthy love of self

"Notice your internal dialogue with yourself," says Crysler. "Is it nice? Because if it isn’t, then it can be a detriment to co-creation."

4. Not being embodied in your sexuality

Crysler says to ask yourself the following questions: Are you comfortable with your sexuality? What do you desire? Take some time to journal it and get to the root of your feelings. But rest assured, you have nothing to be ashamed of when it comes to showcasing your sexual energy. "This is an expression of who you are, shadows and light," Crysler says.

5. Holding onto the past

By all means, be sentimental if you must. But past experiences or repetitive patterns that keep you from your evolution will block sexual energy, and keep you stagnant.

6. Relationships that are draining

And if the previous point didn’t hit home hard enough, nobody should be sexually co-creating with their toxic ex. No energy vampires and harmful relationships allowed here.

"This can be any relationship, but especially if it is sexual," says Crysler. "Sexual energy is sacred and should be valued and based on equality. Evaluate who you are sharing your time and body with. Is it good for you, or draining?"

How to use sexual transmutation to co-create

"Once we create awareness of who you are and practice a deep connection with yourself, you want to introduce the pleasure piece," says Crysler. "Pleasure creates mind-altering substances like dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin and vasopressin that influence our state of consciousness. In this euphoric state we can commune with higher consciousness to co-create."

So what you want to do is cultivate practices that strengthen self-love and self-reflection, and mentally zoom in on desires when introducing pleasure. Here are a few ways to do that.

1. Create a safe space for yourself that feels romantic

Your definition of romantic doesn’t have to be my definition of romantic, but definitely cultivate a space in your home that makes you feel relaxed, amorous, and very, very sensual. Setting that romantic ambiance can make you feel like you're perpetually being seduced... in the best way.

2. Breathe

Super simple, right? Carving out some time to do breathwork with root locks can work very well. "I suggest doing two quick inhales through the nose and a longer exhale at least three to seven minutes per day," says Crysler.

3. Journal everyday

This energy is all about self-exploration and harnessing a mind-body connection. It means going beyond exploration in bed. You want do the mental work by keeping a running monologue of your thoughts, desires, passions, and so on.

"Journaling every day is important to create a container of awareness of understanding who you are and what you want," Crysler says. "Your truth often lies in your emotions, therefore journal how you feel, and honor how you feel."

4. Get in touch with your birth chart

"An astrology reading will help with this as well," Crysler says. "Astrology often creates awareness of subconscious thoughts and patterns that prevent us from our evolution."

5. Wield the right self-pleasure tools

It's not that using a 10-speed massage wand isn't magical enough for this process, but consider embracing this call to explore your sexual energy as an opportunity to use crystal sex toys, especially something like a made-for-self-lovin' rose quartz like Chakrub's The Heart ($130) or Yoni Egg ($50).

"Yoni eggs work very well at removing stagnation, especially at the G-Spot, where I believe expansion of sexual energy really takes hold," Crysler says.

6. Self-pleasure intentionally

Sexual transmutation isn't supposed to be a buzz-buzz rush job. "Explore your body and what feels good," says Crysler. "When you do this, think of an intention and visualize the energy of your intention beginning at the pelvic floor or sacral area and as you stimulate pleasure. Think of this intention expanding out into the collective consciousness."

If your sexual energy is ripe, then you'll have better luck bringing your dream to life. And if not, well, hopefully you can at least bring an amazing orgasm to life.

Originally published June 10, 2019. Updated March 25, 2021.

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