So we spent a lot of time chatting with sex educators about how to add some new steps to your sex choreography, arouse yourself with untapped senses, and really make your oral game something to talk about. The result? Comprehensive road maps for true sexplorers. From tips to toys to techniques and everything in between, here’s what we learned, and what you can use as we come into the new year.
Below, the best sex exploration ideas we indulged in during 2020
If your partner is squeamish about introducing a buzzy third into the bedroom, remind them it’s a sexual aid, not a replacement. As Lisa Finn, sex educator at pleasure product emporium Babeland so brilliantly puts it, “You could build a birdhouse with your hands, but it’s going to be an easier and more pleasant experience with a hammer and nails.” Same goes with sex toys and seamless Os. Consider couples’ vibrators like the penis-hugging Hot Octopuss Pulse Duo, heated SVAKOM Emma Neo Wand Vibrator, and/or the plusOne Feather Tickler as part of your toolkit.
Trying to learn a new breaststroke in quarantine? We have plenty of methods to tweak your nipple play for maximum fun (and maybe even a breastgasm if you’re lucky).
Courtesy of Jess O’Reilly, PhD, sexologist and host of the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast, we have six different ways to change the cadence of your oral game. Here’s a tease in the form of “The Tee”: “Lie on your back with one leg outstretched and the other bent with your foot on the mattress,” she says. “Have your partner approach from the side by sliding beneath your bent leg, so that your bodies form the shape of a tee. If you like having your lips [or labia majora] squeezed together, they can use their lips to do so while they run their tongue between the groove.”
We know that for some vulva-owners there can be insecurity about people getting up-close-and-personal with those sensitive bits. Friendly reminder: your vagina is supposed to smell like a vagina, not a strawberry shortcake, but there are flavored lubes on the market if you feel like you want to address that. Otherwise, our fave sexperts shared 16 other ways to lie back and truly savor the experience.
I know, I know, people hear the term and think of a leathery underworld. But 1. You’ve probably already experimented with kink if you’ve done anything outside of traditional missionary and 2. There are some super cute pastel playthings to make bondage, et al., fun!
Can’t find a willing third in a pandemic? That…makes sense, honestly, and it might be best to use your imagination for now. We outline a trinity of ideas for a faux ménage à trois, from which toys to bring in, to how to engage your exhibitionist side, to the porn you should play.
The brilliant Gabrielle Kassel wrote an 11-step guide to anal fingering to help you, uh, go through the backdoor. If there are any further questions or you’re curious about more advanced play, we have what you need to know about anal oral and a rimming simulator if you’re lacking a willing mouth.
For those to whom the experience of sound is accessible (and a major turn-on), you might want to amplify your auralism game. Auralism is all about being turned on with sound, and in addition to plugging into audio erotica apps, we have multiple methods to explore that under appreciated sense.
Hat tip to sexual wellness education platform OMGyes for educating us on how to add (ahem) depth to your usual penetration game. If you’re lacking the wow factor in your most recent in-out-in-out experiences, we have 11 techniques that can switch things up.
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