Sex Advice

The 6 Best Sex Tips We Learned in 2021

Photo: Getty Images/ monkeybusinessimages

As we recap and wrap up the year, one thing is certain: 2021 was—dare we say—sexy. Sure, there were plenty of unsexy things that went down (like the fact that we lived through yet another year of a global pandemic). But what’s made this year spicy is the continued open conversation around sex and sexual wellness in general, and with that came lots of juicy nuggets of sexual wisdom to be gleaned and celebrated. Some the best sex tips of 2021 we took away from experts includes: Daily orgasms are super healthy. Sex therapy is something everyone can benefit from. And, not to mention, sex toys (both for partnered and solo sex) are getting better and more creative than ever. Self-pleasure faucet attachment, anyone?

Suffice it to say, there were definitely lots of tricks we learned this year for taking your sex game from good to Oh. My. God—no matter your relationship status, gender identity, or sexual orientation.

Here are the 6 best sex tips of 2021 to take with you into 2022

1. Outercourse can take intimacy up a notch

One underrated yet totally hot tip for better sex: PG-rated outercourse. Sex, after all, is about pleasure in its various forms. So, before the clothes come off and you hit the sheets, engaging in other steamy and playful acts such as making out, heavy petting, sexting, or giving and receiving hickeys is a surefire way to build up anticipation. In other words, whether it’s with an existing partner or a new one, the fastest way to take intimacy up a notch is by slowing down, taking your time, and really savoring all the intimate touch and connection. 

2. Non-penetrative outerplay equals powerful orgasms

Once you’re ready to rev things up, “outerplay” is another powerful technique you can implement for mind-blowing orgasms. According to sex therapist Rachel Wright, LMFT, outerplay refers to sexually inspired play with your partner that doesn’t involve penetration, such as clitoral stimulation, masturbating in front of your partner, oral sex, exploring other erogenous zones (i.e., nipples, anus, inner thighs), and using non-penetrative sex toys. And, no outerplay is not just considered foreplay that comes before the main event. Whether you’re not into penetrative intercourse or can’t engage in it, outerplay can certainly buy you a one-way ticket to Orgasm Town all on its own. 

3. Incorporating sexual massage is a must

Sexual massage is another powerful ritual that doesn’t involve sex specifically but is an erotic, deeply sensual, and fun way to build a connection with yourself and your partner. The ancient practice involves—you guessed it—massaging each other’s entire body, including nipples, penis, vulva, and clitoris. According to sex experts, the benefits of this technique are plenty. Expect a deeper understanding of arousal, improved communication, and a stronger bond with your partner if not flying solo. And if you’re the type that tends to get in your head during sex, this form of massage will help you drop into your body and be more present and able to relax and enjoy. 

Furthermore, massage, in general, is excellent for your mind, body, and soul. “The lymphatic systems within our bodies often get blocked due to diet, fast-paced lifestyles, stress, and anxiety,” Tatyana Dyachenko, a sex and relationship expert, previously told Well+Good. “Massage can help to release any blockages and reduce tension. When you receive a massage, it helps to improve your circulation and relieves any pain you might have. Massage also releases our feel-good hormones into our body, such as serotonin. This makes us feel happier and healthier, and when we feel like that, we’re more likely to want to have sex.”

4. Erotic Blueprints can be sex game-changers

Just like we all have different zodiac signs and personality types, we also have unique Erotic Blueprints (aka sexual preferences), and better understanding yours can be a gamechanger for taking the reigns of your sexual well-being. Sexologist Jaiya Ma created the Erotic Blueprint framework, which includes five types: energetic, sensual, sexual, kinky, and shapeshifter. Each type has specific turn-ons and turnoffs, and understanding yours can help you better communicate your wants and needs with your partner and teach you how to better self-pleasure. 

5. The Kivin method delivers super-fast orgasms

This year, we also learned about the Kivin method for vulva oral sex, which is believed to lead to super-fast orgasms (we’re talking 3-minute quickies). The magic to this method is in positioning. Rather than the standard head-between-the legs technique, the Kivin Method is described as “sideways oral,” where the giver positions themselves in between the legs horizontally. 

“We now know that the clitoris isn’t just a little external nub but instead is a much larger, and longer, internal organ boasting thousands of pleasurable nerve endings,” sex and relationship expert Annabelle Knight previously told Well+Good. “Instead of being licked up and down, which would miss out on stimulating the crura and bulbs—or the arms and legs—licking occurs lengthways [with the Kivin Method], meaning that stimulation is spread over a larger surface area.” 

6. Spice up solo sex with new masturbation positions

From advanced sex positions for the adventurous to the best sex positions according to your zodiac sign, there are sex positions for partnered seshes galore. But did you know there are also different masturbation positions? Yup. In particular, Sadie Allison, Ph.D., sexologist, and co-founder of GoLove CBD lubricant, shared four masturbation positions to try: sitting on the corner of the bed, the solo-loving cowgirl position, standing in a doorway, and in the bathtub. Consider your solo sex game elevated. 

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