Each Erotic Blueprint has superpowers and shadow sides, says Ally Jewel, a certified Erotic Blueprint coach who shared a TikTok outlining the Erotic Blueprints, which has amassed more than 1 million views. Jewel likens superpowers to turn-ons and shadow sides to turnoffs. So, if you identify with the superpowers and shadow sides of a given blueprint, you likely fall into that category. Then, by communicating your wants and needs you can pave the way for meaningful pleasure-focused conversations and, ultimately, an improved sex life.
- Ally Jewel, Ally Jewel is an Erotic Blueprint™ and intimacy coach.
You don’t have to be in a committed relationship to reap the benefits of knowing your Erotic Blueprint, either. In fact, knowing yours can help you not only communicate with future partners what turns you on (and also tease out any questions of sexual compatibility, assuming they know their Erotic Blueprint), but it can also help you learn how to better please yourself.
With that in mind, keep reading for a breakdown of each of the five Erotic Blueprints to see which bedroom personality most resonates with you. (You can also take the Erotic Blueprints quiz).
Keep reading to learn which Erotic Blueprint best describes your bedroom personality
The hallmark of an energetic is that “they’re turned on by space, anticipation, and tease,” Jewel says. “Often, [energetics] want to have that safety, like ‘I need to know that I'm safe, and I can feel your energy from across the room. I can feel the energy in my body. We can have non-penetrating, non-touch orgasms just through energy moving through our body alone,” says Jewel, who is primarily an energetic.
The main shadow side of an energetic can show up when things come at them too fast and lead them to shut down, Jewel says. Another shadow side of an energetic may be missing out on the sensation of touch because they might come to see themselves as not needing a partner to orgasm. While that might be true, the element of touch can also lend itself to strengthening an intimate bond in a partnership, so this shadow is something to be aware of.
The hallmark of a sensual is that they “need to feel relaxed in order to have sex,” says Jewel. “The sensual is turned on by all the senses. They might be that friend that you walk into the bakery with and they're like, ‘Oh my God, can you smell that!?’”
Similar to energetics, sensuals can feel orgasm throughout their body and senses—like touch orgasms, ear orgasms, and oral orgasms. “They like that soft, sensual touch and the kiss,” Jewel says. “They love full-body sensations.”
On the shadow side, sensuals can shut down if the stimuli to their senses aren’t just right, says Jewel. Perhaps if their home is less tidy than they’d like it to be, or if they’d like to shower before having sex, sensuals can get turned off and get lost in their thoughts.
“The hallmark of the sexual is that they need to have sex in order to feel relaxed, [which is] different than the sensual,” who needs to feel relaxed in order to have sex, says Jewel. For sexuals, “it's a really fast turn-on.” Simply seeing someone who you’re attracted to, watching porn, or seeing wetness can all do the trick.
For the sexual, the area of their body that turns them on the quickest is their genitals—whereas the energetic can have areas off the body that turn them on, says Jewel.
“The shadow side of the sexual is that they can feel like—because genitals are the most [pleasurable] place on their body—other Blueprints are [weird].” This can lead sexuals to misunderstand the other Blueprints, she adds.
The kinky Erotic Blueprint is turned on by anything that’s taboo for them, says Jewel, which is hyper-personalized in effect. For example, “if somebody…only had missionary sex all of their life, and then they go and they do something that's different for them—doggy-style, whatever it is for them—that can be considered taboo.”
Whether you’re exploring in the bedroom or considering introducing kink accessories into your sex repertoire, you fit into the kinky Blueprint when things that are personally taboo to you turn you on.
“The shadow side of that is the shame,” says Jewel. “They shut down, especially [if] their partner is a different Blueprint.” People who fall into the kinky Blueprint might show their shadow side when they want to explore and aren’t met with a resounding yes. “If their partner in the past has ever shamed them or joked or laughed at them for something, they're going to shut down—and they're [not] going to...feel safe to share with [their] partner [their] deeper secrets around sex,” she adds.
A shapeshifter’s hallmark is wanting more and more and more, says Jewel. As you might have guessed, the shapeshifter can easily flow in and out of any Blueprint—which has implications for their superpowers and shadow sides, alike.
“The shapeshifter can have the superpowers of all of [the Blueprints] and can have the shadow sides of all of [the Blueprints],” says Jewel. “There can be a lot that shuts down the orgasm for them, and there can be a lot of different things that turn them on, too.”
Jewel adds that shapeshifters are often wanting “more sex, more hands, more touch, and more sensation,” and says that this experience can happen all at once or can span the course of multiple days.
“The shadow side of that is that [shapeshifters] can check the shadow sides of the energetic and of the sensual as well as the shame of the kinky,” says Jewel. Another shadow side of shapeshifters is that they can “feel like they’re too much,” which can shut down the orgasm for them, she says.
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