“The damaged booties, we say, is from sex, but it’s not,” says Dr. Goldstein. “It’s from pooping, and it’s from running into Starbucks and [going] to the bathroom and using terrible toilet paper. Or you’re on your Peloton and you’re sweating your butt off and all of a sudden, your friend calls you and you’re in a conversation for two hours with a swampy tushy. All of these things cause local irritation.” To solve the problem, Dr. Goldstein set out to create a cream that instantly calms and hydrates—and dries quickly.
“The reality is that if you have excess moisture in that area, a lot of irritation can happen,” says Dr. Goldstein. “We’re trying to treat irritation, not cause irritation. And so [we wanted to] hydrate, soothe, get you where you need to go, so that you minimize that inflammation, but also create an environment where [moisture] dries so quickly that now it’s a safer space.”
After rigorous testing, Dr. Goldstein settled on a rich and creamy formula, packed with soothing, anti-inflammatory and anti-itch ingredients, like shea butter, mango seed butter, arnica flower, black willow tree extract, and echinacea. “We wanted it to be a first-aid type of lotion, but we didn’t want it to be too first-aidy where it was not sexy,” he says. “You’ll see it’s a thicker consistency, but it still lies within this silky-rich creamy formula.”
What it’s like using the Future Method Butt and Body Soothing Cream
Armed with information after my chat with Dr. Goldstein, I was ready to test out the Future Method butt cream. I showered and used the Future Method Butt and Body Scrub ($35) beforehand, which leaves you feeling clean yet nourished between the cheeks. I got out, towel-dried the area thoroughly, let it air dry a teensy bit more, and got ready to apply.
“If someone’s looking at a rim perspective, let’s say just right at the booty hole, use a pea-sized to a dime-sized amount—just making sure that you’re getting a very, very thin layer that covers the surface area,” says Dr. Goldstein. After you apply, he says to allow it to air dry fully before putting on your underwear.
I took a pea-sized amount to my butt and was shocked at how quickly it absorbed. I also applied a dime-sized amount to my vulvar area and found it to be quite soothing post-shave. After massaging it in a bit, I followed Dr. Goldstein’s advice and continued my get-ready routine (with clean hands), allowing the lotion to fully soak in before getting into my underwear.
The cream has a very subtle cooling sensation, which is great for someone like me who gets butthole cramps. But because I don’t usually check to see if my butt is moisturzied, I could not tell you if it feels any different. However, I am aware of how my vulva feels since it’s usually dry and irritated after shaving and I’m finding that it’s significantly more moisturized. The moisture also lasts much longer than it does when I use other pubic moisturizers. Ergo, my anus is probably feeling pretty pampered right now.
And because it’s just lotion, you can use it anywhere. It feels fabulous as a body cream but, TBH, I’ll probably reserve it for the areas where the sun don’t shine—because it’s doing amazing things down there. Whether you’re having anal sex or big poops, the Future method butt cream helps to soothe a sensitive area and prevent future irritation.
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