Gabrielle Bernstein: Self-love icon for a generation

If ever there were a 20-something, city gal’s icon, Gabrielle Bernstein is it.

Holding court at her recent “iLoveMe” lecture in New York City, Bernstein looked ready to party—tight pants, toned yoga arms, and a long, gold lariat that dangled to her navel.

But most party girls aren’t self-help phenoms who can pack a room with 200 Gen Y-ers willing to pay $20 to hear about forgiveness. And most aren’t self-described former junkies/PR mavens who, after waking up hungover and strung-out for the umpteenth night, at age 25 decided to get clean, get metaphysics, and pen the best-selling advice book, Add More -Ing to Your Life: A Hip Guide To Happiness. Which is why Bernstein, now 31, isn’t a party girl, but a Tony Robbins-meets-Carrie Bradshaw for her generation.

That night’s packed lecture—one of about 40 Bernstein gives per year—was about love. Not about going out to get it, but clearing the space needed to see it. She began by asking who in the audience had attended her group sessions, which she offers at $187 for four. Hands shot up, explaining the rapt vibe: Those who dig Bernstein dig her big-time.

While a lot of Bernstein’s advice comes from self-help celebs like Marianne Williamson, a lot comes from her own personal transformational experience with meditation and prayer. Bernstein’s big on asking for miracles, or shifts in perception. Trying to chill before a date? Can’t trust a new guy because some jerk broke your heart? It’s miracle-asking time.

Which is the thing with Bernstein. She isn’t necessarily bringing anything revolutionary to the table, but she understands intimately the reality of her devotees’ lives, because she’s in the thick of it herself. Her teachings are grounded in real-world, city living scenarios and her 20-something fans love her for it. They want guidance, yes, but with a side of style. And this Valentine’s Day, a little bit of love. —Catherine Pearson

This post was originally published on February 14, 2011; updated on July 31, 2020.