Yes, it was only a matter of time before someone pounced on the fact that a study published in the American Journal of Medicine last spring found that the pot smokers had smaller waistlines and lower insulin levels than straight-edge participants.
Of course, the fact that the study simply reported a correlation didn’t stop “green entrepreneur” Art Glass (we’ll assume it’s a pseudonym) from sending out a press release promoting The Marijuana Diet that had us laughing hysterically—and we hadn’t even followed the toker’s advice prior.
Glass claims he lost 65 pounds following his regimen of “smoking only one to three inhales of marijuana, and including superfoods, juicing, green smoothies [in his diet], and intermittent fasting.” He also says he’s done “over 20 long fasts, several of them for 40 days,” which might, um, have something to do with his weight loss, pot smoking aside. Just a thought.
So that you can also have a good laugh without lighting up, we share some other amazing points Glass would like you to know:
His scientific evidence:
“I have gathered testimonials from over one hundred people who say marijuana use leads to weight loss.”
Why you should try it:
“My 5 Rules of The Marijuana Diet will work for anyone. For example, I disclose how to smoke for the best weight loss results, how to handle the munchies, how to end your guilt, and introduce many other effective weight loss tools.”
It comes with a fitness regimen:
“I have invented simple fun ‘sofa exercises’ that will tighten your body in as little as four minutes a day.” (Video games?)
And in case you still don’t think you need the book:
“Glass tells you how to buy pot and have it safely delivered to your home in all 50 states.”
So your new skinny self won’t have to sweat over being handcuffed. —Lisa Elaine Held
For more information, visit www.themarijuanadiet.org