The bottom line: longer and skinnier avocados should definitely get first pick.
How did I reach this conclusion? Earlier today I went on a mission. I bought a dozen avocados and a food scale. I divided the produce into four categories: Long and Skinny, Long and Fat, Short and Skinny, and Short and Fat. I weighed each avocado, removed the pits, and weighed them again. Finally, I performed the necessary calculations to determine pit weight as a percentage of total weight and compared the averages. (I know, this all seems pretty extra, but it's for science!)
Here's how the avocado shapes shake out (in terms of more flesh, less pit)
These are the results, noting pit weight as a percentage of overall weight:
Long and Skinny: 13 percent
Long and Fat: 16 percent
Short and Skinny: 16 percent
Short and Fat: 18 percent
The pit doesn't do anything except take up room inside the fruit (unless you need a new houseplant), so a smaller pit equals more edible avocado! According to my experiment, Long and Skinny amounts to about 5 percent more for you to eat as compared to Short and Fat. If you're eating avocados regularly, you're basically getting, like...a little bit more avocado to mash onto your toast. But still! This was fun.
Further, according to wellness blogger Bethany Ugarte, choosing rough-skinned fruit usually also means it has a smaller pit.
To summarize: long and skinny + rough skin = <3
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