Here’s Why You Keep Dreaming Of Your Loved Ones Dying—And What To Do

Picture this: You go to bed hoping to get a full night’s rest, but instead, you wake up at 3 a.m. sweaty and panicked because you just had a vivid dream of a close friend dying. After several minutes of some deep breathing exercises, you convince yourself that the dream means nothing and eventually fall back to sleep. However, the following week, you end up having yet another life-like dream about your bestie passing away.  

While you might start to think this recurring nightmare is a potential omen, don’t freak out—a dream of someone dying is often metaphorical, and it can actually offer meaningful insight into what’s going on in your subconscious mind. “Rather than a foretelling of the future, the majority of dreams are symbolic in that they represent something we are moving through, or that our psyche is wanting us to look at,” says Stephanie Gailing, an astrologer and author of The Complete Book of Dreams. 

For instance, that scary dream of your close friend dying? It might symbolize your deep-seated fear of losing them, or it may signal a shift in your relationship that you’re struggling to accept, she says. Basically, the meaning of your death dream will vary based on certain factors, like how the death unfolded, why it might’ve occurred, where and when it took place, how it made you feel, and what that specific person represents for you. 

A dream of someone dying can also be influenced by recent events that took place in your waking life, like an argument or a tough breakup, as well as any thoughts, conversations, or strong emotions you might have had the day before the dream occurred, says Layne Dalfen, a dream analyst and author of the Have A Great Dream book series.

What a dream of someone dying could mean to you

Death dreams often symbolize an ending of something (such as a relationship), or a major life transition, like a career change or the loss of a loved one. It can also reflect a desire for personal transformation, and highlight any unresolved emotions associated with that person. “Dreams will bring up feelings that haven't really been metabolized or felt all the way through,” says Leslie Ellis, PhD, an educator and author of A Clinician’s Guide to Dream Therapy. “They're an invitation to feel into a situation that we haven't completely worked through yet.”

To figure out what a dream of someone dying might mean for you, start by writing down as much as you can remember about it, and consider how you felt while in the dream and upon waking up. “There are six points of entry that you can look for in a dream: the feelings, action, symbols, repetition, play on words and puns, and plot,” says Dalfen. For instance, “if you use a symbol's point of entry, especially in the case where someone has died, you want to ask yourself: what are the first two or three things that come to my mind about this person?” she adds.

Going back to that vivid, recurring dream about your close friend dying—consider reflecting on your relationship with that person and what they might embody to you. For example, if your best friend happens to be an artist and you dream that they die, the dream might be looking at the death of your creativity or artistic side, rather than a literal prediction of your friend’s demise. “If you think of death as the ending of something and then you think of the people in your dreams as representing some specific aspects of yourself, then you're getting closer to finding the meaning for you,” says Ellis.

Ultimately, when it comes to understanding your dreams, “context is key,” says Gailing. “Death dreams can be rattling, but the more you pay attention to them, the more you can start to see insights in your waking life.”

4 common dreams about death, decoded

It’s important to remember that a dream of someone dying shouldn’t be taken literally; instead, think of your dreams as visual metaphors of your everyday emotional experiences, says Ellis. Furthermore, “don't be too quick to judge it at the surface level as good or bad,” she says. “Maintain your curiosity and objectivity, because a death in dreaming can be the end of something that really does need to end. It also leaves the door open for new possibilities.” 

Read on to learn about four common dreams of death and what they might mean, according to dream experts. 

A dream that your parent is dying

A dream about a parent dying could mean a few things, says Gailing. One possibility is that it could be highlighting your concern for their health or wellbeing. In fact, if you have a parent who is dealing with current or chronic health issues, it’s possible that the dream may be preparing you for their inevitable passing by giving you an opportunity to rehearse what may happen in waking life, says Dalfen. It might also reflect a deep-seated fear of losing your parents, or a sense of anxiety about a future without them.

Additionally, dreaming of a parent dying could symbolize your fear of getting older. “When a parent dies, we all move up in generations, so perhaps [the dream] could symbolize our working through our own personal aging process,” says Gailing. The dream might also reflect an ongoing habit or dynamic between you and your parent that needs to “die” or be released in order for a new phase to come forth, she says. With that in mind, it could also indicate a possible need for more adulting in your day-to-day life. 

A dream about a current or former partner dying

A death dream about your significant other often symbolizes major changes in your relationship, says Gailing. Consider whether your relationship has recently evolved toward a deeper connection, or if there’s been a gradual separation due to unresolved conflict. The dream might reflect your fear of them abandoning you or leaving you for someone else; however, it could also symbolize a hidden desire for the relationship to end, she says. 

On the contrary, if you recently went through a breakup, a dream about your ex dying “would be potentially saying that there is something unfinished about the closure in that relationship ending,” says Ellis. The dream might be a call for you to work through unprocessed grief associated with the loss or “death” of the relationship. Or, if the relationship ended on bad terms, the sentiment could look more like, “You're dead to me,” says Gailing. 

A dream that you’re watching a group of people die

“I think that there's a sense of worry about the stability of the world and the vulnerability of people,” says Gailing. “Whether it's our concerns about the climate or our political concerns, this notion of endings and death is right on our conscious level.” That being said, witnessing a group of people die in a dream could reflect a fear of the unknown or the uncertainty associated with change. If you’ve experienced multiple losses recently, these dreams may be a way to process those intense emotions. Moreover, it could also be a sign that you need a new social circle. 

A dream about someone who’s already passed away

“One of the most studied aspects of dreams of death are dreams of bereavement,” says Ellis. In fact, a 2019 research study found that 86 percent of people who have lost their spouse or partner have dreamed about them after their passing. Dreaming about the death of someone who has already died might be your subconscious trying to fully process the gravity of the loss, she says. “The dream also points to the fact that because someone passed away, it doesn't mean your relationship with them is over,” adds Dalfen. It could symbolize the person’s enduring influence on your life, and just how much their death has impacted you.

What to do if you keep dreaming of someone dying 

If you keep having dreams of a loved one dying, that means your subconscious is really trying to get your attention and alert you to an important ending or ongoing change in your life. “If you are not acknowledging some situation in your waking life that's making you feel sad, angry, or frustrated, don't be surprised if you dream that someone you love dies, because the dream is going to help bring the emotion that you need forward,” says Dalfen. 

Ellis suggests talking with a friend or seeking help from a professional to address the root cause of your death dreams, especially if they’re recurring, fueled by trauma, or negatively impacting your mental and emotional wellbeing. Ultimately, your best course of action will depend on the specifics of the death dreams and how they make you feel.