Before moving in together, my partner and I had spent the duration of our relationship living two hours away from each other. It was a tough experience for a number reasons, including our very high libidos and intense chemistry with one another. And even if you aren’t in an LDR, per se, you might have recently quarantined (or are still quarantining) separately from your partner, which can make your setup feel like a very sudden and unintentional LDR. No matter your specific circumstances, though, certain long distance relationship sex ideas might be helpful in order to help you feel closer to your partner than you might actually be.
Because whether you do live far from one another or it just seems that way in effect right now, it’s easy to get sexually frustrated when you’re frequently horny and infrequently in (physical) touch with your partner. Thanks to a number of new technologies, though, resources abound for helping to keep the spark alive in your relationship, even when you’re apart from your partner.
Below, experts recommend 6 long distance relationship sex ideas that’ll make you feel super-close to your partner.
1. Wear bond touch bracelets
Sometimes you just wish you could touch your partner as a means to let them know you’re thinking about them at any given moment. Well, now you can—with a tap or two or three of your finger. Bond Touch bracelets enable you and your partner to sync wearables and communicate messages through your own special vibrational language. The way it works is that the set of bracelets are connected, wherein if one partner taps theirs, the other partner feels the tap—no matter where in the world they may be (so long as cell service and/or Wifi are available, that is).
For example, you and your partner could decide one tap of the bracelet means you’re feeling horny, two taps could mean you wish you were in bed with them right now, and three taps could mean…well, how about you go ahead and fill in that blank yourself.
2. Play with remote-friendly sex toys
“There are many awesome haptic sex toys available for couples in long-distance relationships,” says certified sex coach and author Gigi Engle. These products allow you to control the other person’s toy settings (vibrations, pulsations, and intensities) without being in the same room.
As a suggestion, you could try the remote- and app-controlled We-Vibe Sync. Or you could use an oral sex simulator, like the Womanizer, while pretending your partner is going down on you to help bring the fantasy to a more IRL state. You and your partner could also use toys together at the same time while talking dirty on the phone or sexting.
3. Focus on having erotic conversations
In line with the intimate power your words stand to share, sexologist Carol Queen, PhD, says that visual and tactile elements of sex aren’t requirements for sexual intimacy.
“Voice-only erotic communication can be evocative in a whole different way. Mastering erotic talk is its own super-useful sexy skill.” —sexologist Carol Queen, PhD
“Voice-only erotic communication can be evocative in a whole different way. Mastering erotic talk is its own super-useful sexy skill,” she says, adding that the more often you practice talking dirt, the easier and more natural (and pleasurable) it becomes.
4. Sneak sexy notes into their suitcase
If you’re often apart from your partner, make the absolute most of the time you share by extending it with notes from each other you can read once your visits end. “Write a few little notes about what you want to do with your lover when you see them again, and sneak them into their luggage when they’re preparing to leave,” says Searah Deysach, sex educator and owner of sex shop Early to Bed.
Deysach recommends penning something along the lines of “I can’t wait to kiss the back of your neck,” or “when I see you again I’m going to tear your clothes off with my teeth,” or “I’m touching myself thinking about the last time we had sex.”
5. Surprise them with naughty photos and videos
Surprise nudes (within the scope of a committed partnership, at least) can be a great way to keep that sexual flame burning and let your partner know you’re thinking of them throughout the day. Do be thoughtful, though, about when you send these pictures and videos, because your partner might not want to get turned on while working or when they’re with family.
6. Mail them an exciting treat
Because, you know, everyone loves getting fun mail (read: letters or gifts, not bills). “A naughty Polaroid sent via mail can be an extremely fun treat to get, and your lover can keep it handy for thinking about you when connecting via phone is harder,” says Deysach. For those worry the photo might get intercepted, hide your face while taking the photo, or whip out a pair of scissors and crop it out once it’s printed.
And if sending non-digital nudes isn’t your thing, period, you can always gift them a sex toy with remote capabilities to use together instead. Because ultimately, long distance relationship sex ideas are endless—especially if you choose to play around and combine several tips.
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