From a butt health perspective, toilet paper typically doesn't get you as clean as a bidet—and that can lead to things like hemorrhoids and a condition called itchy anus (no thanks). And environmentally speaking, toilet paper is not sustainable. Nearly 15 million trees a year get cut down to make toilet paper, and about 30,000 trees get flushed per day. Normalize spritzing your butt clean with water. I sorted through the portable bidets—and all of the bathroom puns and poop-lingo used to market them—to find the best ones.
The best portable bidets you can take with you wherever you go
My ex-boyfriend’s parents’ house used to have the fanciest toilet I’ve ever seen. (The seat heated up!) Of course there were several bidet options. This portable bidet, currently on Kickstarter, feels like the portable version of that toilet. It’s got a minimalist design, antibacterial nozzle, and four pressure settings.
There are some delightfully strange marketing images for this bidet, like an image featuring a cheese grater, roll of toilet paper, and a peach with some dried fruit against a pastel background to convey that toilet paper is rough on your butt (I assume). This squeeze-bottle portable bidet comes in three colors: white, light green, and teal.
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