A Sexologist’s Dos and Don’ts for Taking a WFH Sex Break
I'm all for using time and circumstances to your advantage but, as Jeffrey Toobin knows all too well, it does bear mentioning that logistics of a between-meetings quickie can be tricky. How does one slip into a pleasure mindset after staring at spreadsheets for hours? Do you send a Google Calendar invite to your partner to keep schedules aligned? How many times do you confirm that your camera is off? (I'll just answer that one: Save yourself potential trouble and just close your laptop.)
Below, Caitlin V, MPH, clinical sexologist for sexual wellness brand Royal, shares her dos and don'ts for taking a sex break during work.
Do: Turn yourself on in advance
"Because you're taking a break from work, you'll need to get it on and get it over with relatively quickly, so you'll want to come into the situation already heated up and ready to go," says V. "To achieve this, try gently caressing yourself, lightly stroking your genitals, or fantasizing in the hours before your sex break."
Don't: Be afraid to use toys
"Under unique circumstances, especially when you know you've only got limited time and your brain is still recovering from a particularly intense meeting, call in all the toys and tools you have at your disposal," says V.
Is your toy chest is a little empty right now? Don't worry, we have some recommendations: For teasing that can start way before your sex break during work thanks to its remote-control capability, you can use the We-Vibe Sync ($149), an insertable vibe that can provide serious clitoral stimulation. And for the main sex-break event itself (or for any pleasure escapade), I can't get enough of the SVAKOM Emma Neo Wand Vibrator ($129), a heating, multipurpose wonder.
Do: Use lube
"Even if you produce a lot of wetness under 'normal' circumstances—whatever that means—having a bottle of lube handy can make your sex break a lot more pleasurable," V says. Likewise, an arousal oil or sex serum can rush blood flow to your genitals and help get your juices flowing way quicker, as well.
Don't: Think WFH sex breaks are just for partnered folks
"The most powerful thing you can give to yourself is pleasure," says V. "Taking midday solo-sex breaks can both energize and relax you and doesn't require anyone else's participation."
Do: Get weird
"A midday sex break is the perfect time to lightly experiment, because the stakes are low," V says. "If your space allows for it, try a quickie in the kitchen, or give your partner oral sex under their desk. This is not the time for run-of-the-mill, standard-issue sex in your bedroom—this is the time for creative and imaginative vignettes to come to life."
Don't: pressure yourself to orgasm, especially if you don't regularly reach orgasm with sex
Sure, your orgasm could help you relieve stress before that next big performance review. But it's important to remember that uh...sex isn't a performance review. So don't put pressure on a sex break during work, because doing so removes the element of play from the experience.
"Make pleasure the goal for your sex breaks—and all your sex, really—and you'll successfully reach your goal more often," V says.
Do: Wear lingerie
If it makes you feel sexy! If you feel totally empowered rocking your belly-button-high granny panties, that works, too! What you choose to wear (or not wear) is all about getting into a sexual mindset, and that might start with throwing on something small and lacy under your sweats. "For many of us, knowing that we're dressed in our sexiest garb helps us get into a sexy headspace well in advance of any physical contact," says V.
Don't: Try to keep your mind at work while you're breaking for sex
"Let go of your obligations for the short time that you're breaking and focus entirely on your partner or yourself if it's a solo sex break," says V. "Your brain and boss will be grateful that you allowed your brain to turn off for a moment because it will be fresh and ready to see things from a new perspective when you get back."
Do: Clean up after yourself
"While there's certainly a lot of kinky delight in going back to work with the scent of sex still hanging in the air, using a wipe like Royal's Body Wipes can give you a fresh and clean feeling without a full-on shower," says V. "This way, you won't be distracted by anything other than your glowing face on your Zoom call."
Don't: Doubt yourself about it
Sex is good for you: Remember that your sex break is boosting your immune system, your heart rate, and your feel-good neurotransmitters, V says.
Put that way, it seems clear that we'd be remise not to take more sex breaks while working from home. Cue me: Setting up a recurring meeting invite right now.
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