On the scale of addictive behaviors, Carrie Bradshaw’s shoe collection and Sophie Kinsella’s Shopaholic series make obsessive shopping seem about as bad of a habit as ordering oat milk lattes every morning—but in reality, it’s a serious affliction that affects one in 20 Americans. The group most likely to develop a shopping dependency? Young women, psychologists at the University of Bergen have found. That’s because addictive shopping behavior typically starts in late adolescence and early adulthood—just when cheap clothing is within financial reach. In the past, most people outgrew their overspending habits as their maturing personal style priced them out of such options. But thanks in big part to the rise of fast fashion, cheap clothing isn’t just for the the young—it’s now for everyone.
What that means is that, in addition to millennial and Gen Z women, an increased number of people now see shopping as an accessible way to cope with their feelings around anxiety and depression—or a means of keeping up with the Instagram Joneses: According to the Bergen researchers, extroverted people (think the #OOTD types) face an increased risk of developing disordered shopping habits, too. And like exercise, drugs, or any other form of obsessive behavior, its downsides are decidedly more serious than figuring out how to fit everything in your closet.
A compulsion to shop can lead to consequences ranging from guilt to stress to bankruptcy—and fast fashion’s biggest consumers are among the most susceptible. “Those who become hooked on this behavior are willing to do and pay whatever it takes to purchase what they want,” says psychologist Carolyn Mair, PhD, the author of The Psychology of Fashion. “The shopping and spending activity itself are associated with a feeling of happiness and power, which is immediately, but temporarily, gratifying.” Guilt and remorse may follow, but those feelings typically drive the compulsive shopper back to the store for (quite literal) retail therapy.
Up to now, conversations about the consequences of fast fashion have mainly focused on the heavy toll it takes on the environment and on garment workers—those are the big and obvious problems that need to be addressed. But on an individual level, fast fashion can have effects on your brain, your mental health, and your overall well-being. Knowing what they are, and how to respond to them, can make you more than just a better consumer; it can help you actually feel better.
Here’s why and how fast fashion affects mental health.
Photo: Getty Images/Halfpoint Images
Shopping for sport
While everyone’s definition of “expensive” and “affordable” is different, “we all love a bargain,” says Dr. Mair. “It’s like winning a prize, so if we see cheap clothes as bargains, we will be keen to buy them.”
Notably, a recent study focused on “sport shoppers,” or women who are driven to find the most impressive deals. Not to be confused with people who shop for low prices because their financial situation demands it, sport shoppers take pride in their ability to sniff out the lowest possible price. They can joyfully recall stories around a specific purchase, from the discount achieved to the strategy used to “win.”
Even if you don’t see it as a game, just thinking about shopping changes your brain chemistry
Have you ever coveted something for weeks, anticipating its purchase…only to feel let down after you finally buy it? That’s due to a surge of dopamine, the neurotransmitter that controls the brain’s pleasure and reward centers. As Mair points out, shopping can boost levels of dopamine—as long as you’re still in the stage of desire.
advertisement
“[The boost] is from wanting something,” she says. “It can be anything, but…if we consider what we want as a bargain, then it increases the pleasure aspect.” After you’ve handed over your credit card, however, dopamine levels return to normal, which is why the shopping high doesn’t last long. Dopamine levels rise again once you find something new to desire.
This phenomenon isn’t exclusive to fast fashion, but with their frequent merchandise drops, stores like Zara and Forever 21 always have something new to discover and covet. And so the cycle continues anew. On that note….
The brain finds it (extremely) hard to resist trends
Over the summer, the It item was the oversized Jacquemus hat. This season, it’s teddy-bear jackets. Soon, those will be replaced by a new look, too—which is the point. “The essence of fashion is that it keeps reinventing itself,” Mair says. “This appeals to consumers because the brain doesn’t pay attention to what’s familiar; it focuses on unfamiliar stimuli.” (And remember, your dopamine levels spike when you see something new and exciting. It feels good to want something new.) “This is the fundamental principle of fashion and explains the insatiable nature of consumerism and the constant drive to have new clothing,” Mair says.
Aside from the dopamine bump, your mind may also be dealing with the desire to project a certain image, to signal status, or to cope with unpleasant feelings through style choices. And don’t underestimate the power of simply wanting to fit in. “We see others with an item, and we want to have it too,” Mair says. “Fashion floods the market with particular styles, colors, and textures every few weeks—or even more frequently—and so some people feel they are not fashionable if they’re not wearing the latest trend.” With trends cycling through fast-fashion retailers faster than they do on runways, keeping up means consuming more—and more often.
So if our brains are wired to have fireworks over shopping, how can we make sure we make conscious choices and break the cycle of rapid consumption?
Photo: Getty Images/Carlina Teteris
The answer is gratitude. No, really—ask science! Researchers from Rice University asked study participants to think about a product they already owned. Compared to the control group, these people were less likely to desire a new product; less likely to buy impulsively; and less willing to pay for new products. Being thankful, then, for your current wardrobe may be just the thing to keep you from buying a cheap outfit you’ll throw away after a few uses.
advertisement
Not that cheapness is the only thing to remember, says Mair. When you do shop, she says, “Buy mindfully regardless of price. You can have something that doesn’t cost much, look after it, and make it last.” She advises asking yourself a few questions while shopping: 1. When will I wear this item? 2. What do I already have that will go with it, or is similar to something I already own? 3. Do I really need this?
The answers may come easily, or they may take a while—but either way, they’ll help you decide what, and whether, to buy. As for having peace of mind around your shopping decisions? That might just be priceless.
Our editors independently select these products. Making a purchase through our links may earn Well+Good a commission
February tends to get a bad wrap as a cold, dreary month, but that's not entirely fair. For starters, there's Valentine's Day, which is nothing if not warm and fuzzy. Then, there's Presidents' Day, which is a somewhat random federal holiday but rife with discounts on big-ticket items like appliances and mattresses. And then there are wonderful self-care brands like Foria, who are kind enough to help us beat the doldrums of winter by offering discounts on intimacy oils and sexual wellness products so we can heat things up with our partners (or solo!).
advertisement
This long weekend—as in now through Monday, February 17—you can snag 20 percent off any one-time Foria purchase when you use the promo code WELLANDGOOD at checkout. Whether you're shopping for a steamy CBD arousal oil to set the mood with your boo, or the brand's Intimacy Melt suppositories to enhance pleasure when things get more serious, Foria is ready to help you warm things up this weekend. Scroll on to see what the W+G team is scooping up.
What we're shopping during this weekend's Foria sale
This intimacy oil from Foria is infused with stimulating botanical ingredients like cinnamon and kava root, as well as 30mg of organic broad-spectrum hemp CBD to boost relaxation and help you set the mood. It can be used pretty much anywhere that feels good, but vulva owners can use it both externally and internally to ramp up the pleasure—just note that it's not compatible with latex condoms. We've tried it, we love it.
Another CBD-infused offering, Foria's Intimacy Melts are designed to slide into your vagina or anus and—as the name implies—melt. Each melt contains cocoa butter and 50mg of organic broad-spectrum hemp CBD to increase relaxation during penetration. Foria recommends inserting the suppository 30-60 minutes before you're ready to get things going with your partner (or a toy) for sheet-gripping results. (Heads up: This is another pick that's not compatible with latex condoms.)
There's nothing to warm you up on a cold day like a soothing full-body massage. Whether you're the massager or the recipient (I've been both with this oil and can vouch!), this blend of organic botanicals will definitely enhance the experience. The quick-absorbing formula smells amazing, thanks to the blend of ylang-ylang, ginger, vanilla, and coriander extracts, and the consistency is silky smooth to keep things sensual.
Made with organic pumpkin seed and coconut oil, as well as antioxidant-rich buckthorn and vitamin E, this moisturizer was designed to provide daily hydration to vulva owners. Think that's not something your bod needs? W+G contributing writer Cathy Nelson might convince you otherwise.
"This is the product I didn’t know I needed but now can’t live without," she shares. "Seriously—who knew we should be moisturizing our vulvas daily? Using it makes me feel so comfortable. The formula goes on easily, absorbs nicely, and the hydrating effects last for hours."
Our editors independently select these products. Making a purchase through our links may earn Well+Good a commission
No matter the relationship stage you’re in—dating, married, or in a situationship—Valentine’s Day can add pressure for extravagant, rom-com-worthy displays of love and devotion. But the reality isn’t always as romantic. If you’ve been with someone for a really long time, the same old heart-shaped box of chocolates and flowers might begin to feel a bit stale, and if you’re just getting started with someone new, you might be itching to gush, but fear going overboard. Truth be told, there is no “right” answer when it comes to showing your love with a gift but, in our opinion, the best V-Day presents are those you can enjoy together. Read on for over 50 suggestions for Valentine’s Day gifts for couples that will help get the inspiration flowing.
advertisement
Best Valentine's Day gifts for couples, at a glance:
What’s better than flowers on Valentine’s Day? Flowers and a vibrator. This year, the flower delivery company The Bouqs has partnered with Dame to offer this stunning “Good Vibes” arrangement. Each order of this lush, strawberry shortcake-colored bouquet includes a Dame Zig bullet vibe, which is made with soft silicone and has a fluttering tip. Siri, play “My Favorite Things.”
With positions called “Love is Blind,” “Tickle Me Elmo,” and “A Moveable Feast,” this saucy book of sex positions is guaranteed to help keep things interesting in the bedroom.
Help your lover unwind with this soothing massage oil from Lazarus Naturals. It's made with nourishing jojoba and sweet almond oils, as well as USDA Organic-certified full-spectrum CBD for added relief. Plus, it comes in a handy pump dispenser and is free of added fragrances or sketchy ingredients, so you can relax and focus your attention on delivering an excellent full-body massage.
These tasty gummies are blended with full-spectrum CBD and a load of other popular aphrodisiacs, like maca, horny goat weed, and ashwagandha. Needless to say, they’re great for ~getting in the mood~ and are the libido boost no bedside table should go without.
This couples vibrator is designed to be inserted into the vagina during penetrative sex, sending stimulating vibrations to the clitoris, G-spot, and penis at the same time. And you can operate it via the remote control—which responds to you squeezing it to ramp up the intensity. It even has a touch-sensitive function that allows the Chorus to respond to your body movements!
If you and your partner want to have an even happier happy hour, this fun drinking game is the way to do it (though you could just as easily play with mocktails instead of a cocktail.) With 100 cards in the deck, this 2-person card game is sure to spark laughs and conversation. The rules are simple: follow whatever the card says, or take a drink. It’s basically the adult version of Truth or Dare, only instead of spilling secrets, you’re sipping your drink.
This solid massage bar is a must-buy Valentine’s Day gift for any couple whose love language is physical touch. In addition to nourishing dry skin, the Sex Stone functions as a lubricant in intimate situations, offering the perfect amount of glide.
Nobody actually likes those chalky heart-shaped candies, right? With this four-pack of soft modal thongs from PSD, you’re the real treat. And if the cheeky candy sayings aren’t your vibe, PSD has other Valentine’s Day prints to explore, as well as matching sets for men and women.
This silky soft pajama set is soft, sexy, and made of 100 percent Mulberry silk that’s thermoregulating to keep you cool and comfortable all night long. The best part, though, is that it’s machine washable (hold for applause). They also come in a matching men’s style that’s equally luxe.
If snuggling up on the couch with your boo is your idea of quality time, there’s literally no better throw blanket for the job (especially in frigid February). The Cozy Earth Cuddle Blanket is seriously soft, made with cuddly faux fur you’ll want to run your hands over—honestly I end up petting it while it’s on my lap. Whether you choose the regular or “bubble” style, this hefty throw will quickly become your favorite.
Recreate the feeling of relaxing in a fancy hotel robe by treating you and your partner to matching Cloud Robes from Parachute. The luxe robe is made of 100-percent Turkish cotton and has a plush gauze that feels uber-soft on skin. Note: some sizes are selling out quickly, so act fast on this one!
With notes of olive wood, bergamot, and rose, this Ya Thamani Candle has a soft, inviting scent that’s grounding, romantic, and luxurious all at once—making it an instant mood-maker for your Valentine’s Day night-in.
This ultra-soothing neck and shoulder massager is the third wheel you never knew you needed. It delivers a heated deep tissue massage so good, those stress induced knots won’t stand a chance.
With over 20,000 5-star ratings on Amazon, these affordable house slippers feel like you’re walking on a cloud—which obviously means you’ll have to get your Valentine a matching pair.
For the couple that prefers baths to showers, these Fur bath beads are packed with nourishing oils like jojoba and grapeseed oil, along with the brand’s signature Fur Oil that’s beloved for its hydrating benefits that totally banish dry, itchy skin.
For couples who are also proud plant parents, treating yourselves to a new houseplant is a fool-proof Valentine’s Day gift—especially when it waters itself. Seriously, I have the happiest Fiddle Leaf Fig bush from Easyplant and all I’ve done is keep an eye on the brand’s self-watering pot. You fill up the pot’s water chamber once a month and forget about it, meaning you’ll never have to worry about not feeding it too much or too little. Anthuriums make a great gift, as they thrive in bright, indirect light and are one of the longest-blooming house plants—which means you can enjoy their gorgeous, pink blooms for longer.
One of the small but mighty ways my husband shows me he loves me is by filling up my BrüMate, which yes, sounds like something I can and should do for myself, but the Brita is heavy and sometimes I forget and ugh, whatever, it’ssweet ok?! Anyway, if you’re looking to give the gift of ice-cold hydration, this seasonal rose pattern (as well as this cute heart design) is a great pick.
For the couple that loves to cook together, Valentine’s Day is a solid excuse to splurge on new cookware. This wooden cutting board set from Caraway (a brand beloved by team W+G) is made with gorgeous, Forest Stewardship Council-certified birchwood, and comes with a sleek storage rack. The set’s versatile size range means you and your honey can both get to choppin’ at the same time, and each board contains indented sections for added organization while you prep.
How sweet are these heart-shaped salt and pepper shakers? Beyond being adorable and seasonally appropriate, the set comes from Le Creuset so you know they’ll last a lifetime. Pop them on your dinner table during your Valentine’s Day meal to surprise your culinary cutie.
Why is fondue so romantic? Maybe it’s the communal aspect, or the choose-your-own-adventure energy—or maybe just the simple fact that you can pop a cheese-coated grape in your lover’s mouth and that’s pretty fun. Whatever your reasons for fondu-ing, this 3qt fondue pot from Cuisinart will set you up with everything you need—just add cheese.
What’s there to say? It’s a heart-shaped waffle maker and it costs less than $10. The only way to make this a better Valentine’s Day gift is by using it to make waffles together the morning of Feb 14.
If you’re looking for an experience-led gift, Sur La Table’s virtual cooking classes are a great option. You and your Valentine will get the chance to be taught by an expert chef, and making something new (and delicious) from the comfort of your home kitchen. Besides, it beats fighting over a restaurant reservation.
If you two bond over a glass of vino, check out this cool wine accessory from Ullo. It’s a purifier that uses a filter to reduce the amount of unwanted sulfites in your pour. You can also adjust the device’s aeration to work for different types of wine (less for whites, more for reds, etc).
Here’s the sweetest way to celebrate together. With indulgent, small-batch ice cream flavors made from the creamiest, real-deal ingredients, it’s a perfect date-night treat. Whether you’re sharing straight from the pint or crafting sundaes, this bundle turns dessert into a love language—no reservations required.
If the two of you are tea drinkers, why not level up your daily brew with some luxe blends from Art of Tea? This thoughtful gift set includes a sampler of pyramid sachets, featuring 12 blends that range from the predictable (English Breakfast, Mint Green) to the exotic (Egyptian Chamomile, White Coconut Cremé). Plus, the set comes in a giftable wooden box and includes two gorgeous ceramic mugs to add to your collection.
You know what they say—couples that espresso together, stay together. Ok, maybe they don’t say that, but they should. The Bialetti Mini Express takes your traditional Moka Pot and splits it in two, brewing up two espresso shots at the same time, making it a great Valentine’s Day gift for couples who bond over their morning coffee time.
A Valentine’s Day gift that’s both cute and practical, these adorable face-shaped mugs will make you and your partner’s coffee breaks all the more special. Whether you’re sipping on coffee together or apart, this unique set will keep your loved one at top of mind.
If you and your partner are in the mood to splurge this Valentine’s Day on a kitchen gift you’ll both fall head over heels for, let it be this drip coffee maker. Not only is it a tried, tested, and true W+G team favorite, it’ll save you serious cash on trips to the coffee shop. Plus there are over 20 color options to choose from, guaranteeing you’ll find one to suit your kitchen.
For the caffeinated couple who can’t go a day without coffee, this subscription from Partner’s Coffee (the brand behind our all-time favorite instant coffee) is the Valentine’s Day gift that’ll keep your coffee cupboard stocked at all times. The Roaster’s Choice option is just that—a random coffee choice handpicked by Partner’s expert roasters, so you can experience something new every month.
For long-distance couples who want to rekindle the lost art of letter writing, this book of prompted, tear-out letters makes for a heartwarming Valentine’s Day gift to give your partner before parting. Whether they’re in need of motivation or guidance before a big decision, they’ll be able to open a handwritten letter from you for some peace of mind.
Gift your significant other a keepsake photo album they can enjoy for years to come, especially in those moments when you’re physically not together. Artifact Uprising has hundreds of customizable photo products you can create, packaging your most precious memories in an heirloom-quality gift they’ll cherish forever.
For couples who love a night in, this gorgeous 1,000-piece jigsaw puzzle from Piecework makes for a fun (and challenging) Valentine’s Day activity. Warning: the art is so pretty, it’s heartbreaking to take these puzzles apart once they’re complete!
If you and your sweetheart like a little friendly competition, give the gift of a fast-paced card game. My husband and I are newly addicted to Dutch Blitz, which is a little bit Egyptian Ratscrew, a little bit Solitaire, and a lot of fun. I recommend raising the stakes by offering up a back massage to the winner.
This Valentine’s Day Lego set makes for a fun way to spend time together on the 14th without having to sort through a gazillion pieces—ok there are still 250 pieces, but that’s not nearly as many as most Lego sets and it can absolutely be completed in an evening. Plus, once it’s finished, you can hang it on your front door or anywhere in your home for a little seasonal decor!
Suds up your sweetheart with this set of gel-infused sponges from Spongelle. The heart-shaped design holds a dermatologist-tested formula of glycerin and botanical ingredients like edelweiss and vetiver extract. Choose from two fragrance sets: Beloved Lily and pink camilla, or sweet orchid and scarlet blush.
For couples that live together, a fancy hand soap is kind of a big deal. Even if your partner claims not to care, once they’ve tried an Aesop soap, they’ll recognize it as the treat that it is. The Reverence Wash has finely ground pumice for a satisfying, exfoliating effect, and smells like vetiver, petitgrain, and bergamot.
For sheets that smell as sexy as they feel, you’ll want this Dedcool Room + Linen Spray. The brand’s best-selling “Taunt” scent has notes of florals and cassis, bergamot, and fresh dew, along with warming amber and vanilla—creating a sensual aroma that’ll make your bed even more inviting. To take things up a notch, we recommend pairing it with the matching laundry detergent.
If you think a robot vacuum isn’t romantic enough for Valentine’s Day, think again. Equipped with the brand’s patented Dirt Detect technology, this genius vacuum cleaner detects and cleans up messes, so you and your partner don’t have to. So you two can spend more time on what matters most—each other. And did we mention it’s on sale for 35 percent off?
Every couple has “their” song—turn your favorite song into wall art with this personalized song lyric print. Just add your name, song title, and artist before adding to your cart, and you’ll get a custom, keepsake-worthy print shipped to your door and ready to frame.
Vinyl-collecting couples, this Victrola portable record player deserves a place in your shopping cart. It blends retro with modern style, as it’s equipped to play all your favorite records or connect to your Bluetooth devices when you want to stream something else. The best part? It packs up easy thanks to the suitcase-inspired design that allows you to take your tunes anywhere.
With a name like Lover’s Bracelet, you know this minimalist gold chain bracelet makes for a beautiful couple’s gift. It’s made with 100 percent recycled 14K gold and a touch wider and weighter than Catbird’s other chains, for a look that makes a statement alone, or paired with other pieces. Snag one for you and your Valentine for a sweet matching moment.
Inspired by the breathing techniques of ancient Japanese Komusō monks, this Mindful Breathing Necklace helps calm anxiety, so you can stay present. Just inhale normally, and exhale through the straw pendant for a mini meditation throughout the day.
Spoiler alert: my husband will be receiving this set of McConnell’s Ice Creams for Valentine’s Day, and I plan to be very involved in the enjoyment of his gift. The set includes five 16oz pints of ice cream in delicious and unique flavors like Chocolate Covered Strawberries and Sea Salt Cookies & Cream. Also, don’t sleep on the Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate—it’s out of this world.
The ideal way to top off your Valentine’s Day date night, this mouthwatering sampler pack from New York’s iconic Magnolia Bakery includes two cups of its famous chocolate covered strawberry pudding (which is made fresh and ships the same day it’s made), and two Valentine’s Day cupcakes.
Instead of going the heart shaped box of chocolate route, make a heartwarming memory with your Valentine by making your own chocolate truffles instead. This easy to follow kit includes everything you need—from the French dark chocolate morsels to all the tasty add-ins like Himalayan salt, coconut flakes, vanilla, and more.
For the couple that could do serious damage in a candy store, this Sugarfina Bento Box is positively loaded with all of the gourmet candy varieties they could hope for—from champagne gummy bears to dark chocolate caramels.
Whether you have a pool nearby or are jet-setting somewhere warm together, these heart-shaped pool floats from Funboy make a really fun Valentine’s Day gift. Not only are they super cute, they’re made from upcycled production scraps (see ya never, landfill!) so you can feel great about your purchase. Choose a single heart tube, or snag a 3-pack ($69) so you can float together.
For the couple with an ever-expanding bucket list, this scratchable world map will help you keep tabs on all the destinations you’ve visited. Plus, it doubles as wall art.
For the couple that loves a day outdoors, this Yeti Cooler makes for an ideal V-day investment. On top of its ultra-durable design, the personal sized cooler easily accommodates enough drinks and ice for two people, making it a must-pack for romantic hikes, picnics, or days at the beach.
For the selfie-savvy couple who loves making memories, this Fujifilm instant camera has a built-in one-touch selfie mode and mirror that make it a welcome addition on vacations, date nights, and group hangs. The only thing you’ll love more than getting a photo printed in an instant is the compact camera’s retro aesthetic.
Gifts are great and all, but the honest truth is that time spent with your partner is the best gift of them all. As we said above, we think that the best Valentine’s Day gifts for couples are the ones that you can enjoy together, and that pave the way for more meaningful quality time.
For example, if you and your partners are foodies who love to cook new recipes at home, new cookware or matching aprons will make cooking meals together even more special. If you’re homebodies who love to lounge and practice self-care together, a comfy robe, slippers, and blanket would all make delightful Valentine’s Day gifts. And if you can’t keep your hands off each other, there are countless sexy gift options out there that’ll set sparks flying in the bedroom, from vibrators to sensual massage oils. To spare you the headache of having to track these gifts down yourself, we rounded up the very best Valentine’s Day gifts for couples that you can shop right now (which we’d gently recommend, as V-day is less than a month away!)
Sign Up for Our Daily Newsletter
Get all the latest in wellness, trends, food, fitness, beauty, and more delivered right to your inbox.
