Even if you have an easy time finding pleasure, sometimes you might run into real roadblocks to climaxing. You could try to power through in the moment (by dialing that vibrator to the highest setting or telling your lover, “No, let me drive, you’re doing it wrong”). Or you could do a super quick somatic exercise before you hop into bed, as demonstrated on TikTok by Christie Federico, MEd, relationship and sexual empowerment coach, and let orgasms flow out of you.
If a pre-sex workout sounds like too much cardio, don’t worry. This is a simple somatic exercise for releasing tension, stress, and stagnant energy from the body. Exercises based on somatic sex therapy focus on bringing awareness to the body and moving through blockages in the mind.
“This shaking exercise allows you to release tension from the body,” says Federico. “It also moves stagnant energy through and out of the body, which allows for a more open channel where one’s sexual energy and breath can flow more freely, thus increasing one’s probability of achieving orgasm.” Here’s exactly how to do it:
- Plant your feet on the ground.
- Shake your body out for at least five minutes.
- Lie down on the ground for two minutes of integration.
That’s it! This is my new favorite form of fitness.
Okay, but honestly, this intentional shake-it-off movement is more about taking care of your mental and sexual wellness than anything. It allows us to connect with our bodies and and the mental blocks that might be plaguing us.
@christiefedericoThis helps regulate your nervous system and release tension. super important and simple! ##womenempoweringwomen ##sexpositivity ##traumahealing ##healing♬ Double Rainbow – Clutch
“While many people feel the pleasure and power of orgasms centralized in their genitals, climaxes are a full-body experience, and to reach climax you have to be able to relax and feel physical sensation — often achieved by getting out of your head,” says Kiana Reeves, somatic sex educator and Chief Education Officer at pleasure-product company Foria. “If you have trouble reaching climax, or if you’re experiencing a lot of stress in your body, movement like this can be great for easing tension or stress through your body, so that you can experience more sexual pleasure, [often leading to] more intense or easier to access orgasms.”
According to Reeves, movement and breathing all help regulate the nervous system, while the added two minutes of integration slows you down and allows you expand your access to pleasurable physical sensations. Breathing oxygenates your tissues and regulates your stress hormone production, making you extra present in the moment. Movement helps release muscle tension, which can live in your entire body including the pelvis, and restricts the blood flow that is essential to arousal.
“Movement also brings you right into your physical experience, and vigorous movement such as shaking has been studied as a practice that can help move trauma or undigested emotional experiences through the body,” says Reeves. “Vigorous shaking is what animals do after they are chased by a predator or experience a threat—the shaking itself resets the nervous system and allows that experience to move entirely through the body instead of holding onto the threat as an ongoing concern.”
Voice and sound is another tool; your vocal cords and jaw muscles hold a lot of tension, so opening them with sound and vibration impacts relaxation of your pelvic muscles. That makes making a lot of noise during the process can help really, uh, open yourself up.
But in a breath: plant your feet down, shake it around, lie on the ground, and you’ll move past those roadblocks to pleasure.
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