Is It Healthy to Still Sleep With Stuffed Animals as an Adult? Here’s What the Experts Say
- Caroline Fenkel, DSW, LCSW, chief clinical officer at Charlie Health
- Cheryl Groskopf, LMFT, LPCC, psychotherapist
- Inna Khazan, PhD, Boston-based clinical psychologist
- Jessica Lamar, PsyD, LMHC, LPC, CPTT, licensed mental health counselor and Co-Founder of the Bellevue Trauma Recovery Center
- Julia Baum, LMHC, Brooklyn-based psychotherapist
- Margaret Van Ackeren, LMFT, licensed marriage and family therapist based in Anaheim Hills, CA
- Tracey Jones, MD, behavioral health specialist based in Philadelphia, PA
And it bears repeating: as the stats show, it’s not as uncommon as you might think. “So many adults, (probably more than care to admit it) continue to sleep with their stuffed animals,” says Jessica Lamar, PsyD, LMHC, LPC, CPTT, licensed mental health counselor and co-founder at the Bellevue Trauma Recovery Center. These reasons range from the physical comfort it can bring (such as if holding your teddy allows you to get into the exact sleeping position you’re used to and allows you to sleep comfortably), or because it’s just part of your bedtime routine and routines soothe us, Dr. Lamar explains. Considering how hard it can be to get good sleep as an adult, these benefits of sleeping with stuffed animals seem pretty dang good if they can work for you.
“If you’re an adult still sleeping with stuffed animals, that’s totally fine for comfort or nostalgia. But if you notice that you need them to sleep or feel secure, it might be worth talking to a therapist.” —Cheryl Groskopf, LMFT, LPCC, psychotherapist
But, could clutching such items of childhood comfort be an unhealthy sign of regression? Does sleeping with a stuffy fall into the category of healthy sleeping habits or bad sleep habits? We talked to the experts to find out.
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Reasons you might still sleep with stuffed animals as an adult
1. It makes you feel comfortable and secure
“Many adults sleep with stuffed animals because they provide a sense of comfort and security, reminiscent of their childhood,” says Caroline Fenkel, DSW, LCSW, adolescent mental health expert, chief clinical officer at Charlie Health. If you find yourself reaching for your teddy bear during times of stress or life changes, this may be the reason why, she explains. “The familiar presence of a stuffed animal can serve as a soothing anchor, helping to ease anxiety and promote relaxation.” Groskopf agrees, explaining that “stuffed animals can act as transitional objects, which can give you a sense of stability or a way to cope with stress.”
2. It has sentimental value
Another reason you might still enjoy sleeping with stuffed animals is if they hold sentimental value or represent a connection to a loved one or happier time in life, says Dr. Fenkel. “This connection can be a way to stay in touch with our inner child, bringing us back to a time when we felt safe and cared for,” she explains
3. It just feels good
If you’ve ever realized the life-changing sleep that can happen by keeping a pillow between your knees as you snooze, you’ll know how holding something soft and cushy next to your body can genuinely make you feel like you’re getting better sleep. “The tactile sensation and the familiarity of the object can provide a calming effect,” says Dr. Fenkel.
4. It’s a habit
“For others, sleeping with a stuffed animal is simply a long-standing habit or part of their bedtime routine that helps them relax and fall asleep more easily,” adds Dr. Fenkel. If it’s not bothering you, not affecting your life, or your relationships, don’t beat yourself up about it.
When to seek help
1. It’s getting in the way of everyday life
The act of sleeping with a teddy bear or a childhood blanket is generally considered to be perfectly acceptable (though they can have negative connotations if they're associated with childhood trauma or were an emotional stand-in for a parent). But behavioral health specialist Tracey Jones, MD, says assessing the overall healthiness of this act depends on whether it’s “helpful or damaging to one’s emotional integrity, daily function, and interpersonal relationships.”
For instance, do you avoid travel because you can’t bring your teddy bear with you for whatever reason—like, say, it embarrasses you to the point of causing distress. Or does it get in the way of intimacy with you and a significant other? Both situations are red flags.
2. It’s causing intimacy issues with you and your partner
If, say, sleeping with stuffed animals is getting in the way of intimacy with you and a significant other, that may be a time to seek help. The best way to gauge the situation is to have honest conversations with your partner, says clinical psychologist Inna Khazan, PhD. If your partner feels threatened by the presence of the plush pal (maybe you’re cuddling with it instead of them), explain its importance, but also be open-minded to listening to and hearing their concerns.
3. It’s related to stress or anxiety
“Sleeping with a stuffed animal as an adult is not inherently a ‘red flag,’ says Dr. Fenkel, however, “if the attachment to the stuffed animal is related to stress or anxiety, addressing these underlying issues through healthy coping mechanisms can reduce the reliance on the stuffed animal for comfort,” she adds. Plus, when you consider how sleep affects mindset, waking up every day with lingering shame, anxiety, or stress from sleeping with a stuffed animal just isn’t the ideal way to begin your morning.
4. You need it to sleep
Dr. Lamar adds that “you only need to stop if it’s bringing distress or problems into your life,” such as if “you feel like you absolutely cannot fall asleep when you’ve left your stuffed animal at home, or if you don’t have people over because you’re so deeply ashamed of your stuffed animals.”
She also adds that “it’s not that sleeping with a stuffed animal is inherently problematic, but anything that makes you feel distressed or prevents you from living the life you want to live can become a problem,”
Is it "normal" to sleep with your childhood stuffed animals?
Therapist Margaret Van Ackeren, LMFT, says, “In most instances, adults sleep with childhood stuffed animals because it brings them a sense of security and reduces negative feelings, such as loneliness and anxiety.” Basically, the tools can provide calmness and a sense of not being alone—much like they might have for you when you were little.
Just remember if your bear or blanket or whatever else you like to clutch isn't posing a negative force on your life, Van Ackeren, says there's no reason to kick the habit if you don't want to. If that's the case for you, go ahead and give it another squeeze, or hey, even treat yourself to a new weighted teddy bear or other weighted animal if you’d like to introduce some new plushies to your bed routine.
How to stop sleeping with stuffed animals
If, and big if, the relic is a source of continuous strain with your partner, or if you feel like it's simply time to part ways, that's certainly an option, but expect for it to take time and emotional energy. Read: Going cold turkey on teddy might not be the easiest way to separate. After all, this is something you’ve spent a major part of your life with.
1. Tap in a therapist to help
First things first, Dr. Khazan recommends getting help from a mental-health professional to guide you through the process and to take baby steps, so to speak. Dr. Lamar also adds that talking to a therapist might help if you can also discuss the reasons for any unwarranted shame that might be associated with sleeping with your stuffed animals.
And finally: “stuffed animals are often associated with our childhoods, so if sleeping with your teddy is bringing up traumatic or painful memories from childhood, then that might also be a good time to talk to a therapist,” Dr. Lamar adds.
2. Gradually wean yourself off
Then, Dr. Khazan suggests “gradually weaning yourself off, until you no longer need the bear." To do this, first try moving the bear from your bed to your nightstand. Then, move it further away, to the top of your dresser. Finally, Dr. Khazan recommends moving your bear even further away, out of sight and reach (such as under the bed, inside a shut closet, or another room).
3. Try guided meditations
Dr. Khazan also says guided meditations and breathing practices can help keep you calm and soothed throughout the process.
4. Swap another object in
If you enjoy sleeping with a stuffed animal because it just physically feels good but want to kick the habit, Dr. Fenkel suggests swapping in something else, like a soft pillow or blanket. “These alternatives can provide a similar tactile sensation without the emotional attachment,” she explains.
5. Create new habits
If you sleep with your teddy out of habit, Dr. Fenkel suggests creating new routines to make the transition away from your stuffed animal easier. She suggests trying to read a book before bed, meditating, or practicing deep-breathing exercises.
6. Change your sleep environment
Since you’re already accustomed to using a sleeping tool that provides a source of comfort, therapist Julia Baum, LMHC, says you may want to consider making a new addition to your sleeping environment to fill the void, like an anxiety-reducing gravity blanket or a silk pillowcase.
FAQs
1. What does it mean when an adult sleeps with a stuffed animal?
An adult sleeping with a stuffed animal could mean lots of things, ranging from it just feeling nice to cuddle with, to finding comfort in the toy during a stressful time, to wanting to hold onto something physical that has sentimental value. If you just like sleeping with a stuffed animal because you like to cuddle to sleep, that’s totally fine!
2. Are stuffed animals a red flag?
Sleeping with stuffed animals isn’t automatically a red flag, our experts say. Instead, it becomes a problem if you are too dependent on sleeping with it, such as needing it to sleep, or you find yourself missing out on aspects of day-to-day life such as travel because you’re ashamed of it or find it causing problems in your relationship.
3. Is it normal for a 25 year old to sleep with a stuffed animal?
If you’re concerned about still sleeping with your beloved squishy or stuffy at age 25, don’t worry. There’s no magical age cut-off that makes sleeping with stuffed animals suddenly unhealthy. Instead, our experts suggest looking at your relationship with your stuffed animal to gauge if you need to stop or seek help. If sleeping with your stuffy causes you stress, anxiety, prevents you from day-to-day living, causes problems in your relationship, or you feel like you need it to sleep (as opposed to it just being a nice thing to have), it might be time to talk to a professional.
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