Being a beginner to BDSM or kink definitely doesn't require descending into a sexual underworld that's intimidating, painful, or even void of pastels. In fact, there are all sorts of cheerful kink accessories on the market that are perfect for those who are curious about exploring kink or, y'know, simply love millennial pink.
What's key to first understand, though, is that while kink and BDSM often go cuff-in-cuff, they are two separate things. Kink simply refers to anything outside of what's considered "traditional" sex, which, depending on your subjective personal understanding what constitutes sex, may be anything beyond penetrative sex. For example, temperature play with ice can be considered kink play, and being blindfolded can also be considered kink play.
- Courtney Kocak, Courtney Kocak is the co-founder and co-host of Private Parts Unknown, a podcast exploring love and sexuality around the world.
- Daniel Saynt, Daniel Saynt is the founder and chief conspirator of The New Society for Wellness, a private members Open Love club for the adventurous.
- Kenneth Play, sex hacker, international sex expert, and sex educator
- Sofiya Alexandra, Sofiya Alexandra is the co-founder and co-host of Private Parts Unknown, a podcast exploring love and sexuality around the world.
Meanwhile, BDSM stands for "bondage," "dominance" or "discipline," "sadism" or "submission," and "masochism." It can encompass a variety of consensual sex acts that certainly fall under the umbrella of "kink." BDSM also plays on power dynamics (i.e. dominant and submissive), and very often includes pleasure tools that inflict certain sensations. If you're wondering if BDSM might be a kink of yours or something you want to explore, you might try taking an online BDSM test to see what it's all about and doing some further research on your own.
So now, if you're looking to experiment, keep reading for some beginner-friendly kink accessories you can play with.
7 kink accessories BDSM beginners and vets alike will love.
"My recommendation for an introduction to sensation play is a massage candle that turns into a hydrating oil as it melts," says Daniel Saynt, founder of The New Society for Wellness, a members-only sex club in New York City. "It can get quite warm when it makes contact with skin, yet is safe as long as its held at a decent distance above the body. Plus, the oil makes for a wonderful aftercare massage."
Now, if you're looking to kindle your romantic fires, keep in mind that you don't want to reach for the nearest Diptyque or (in my case) Dollar Tree Luminescence jar at hand. Instead, opt for a massage-specific candle, like the Eye of Love Mini Massage Candle Four Pack in Flirt ($36), with a shea butter base mingled with scents such as peach, marigold and jasmine. For another option, try LELO’s Flickering Touch Massage Candle. "It’s body-safe, eco-friendly, and all the scents are tempting," says Sofiya Alexandra, co-host of Private Parts Unknown, a podcast exploring love and sexuality around the world.
Shop Now: LELO Flickering Touch Massage Candle, $35
Kink can encompass using different touches and tastes alike. You can use this dark-chocolate body paint to drench your partner and their...parts in all sorts of gooey goodness, and then take your time licking it up. Are you drooling yet?
Shop Now: HighOnLove Dark Chocolate Body Paint, $35
This bamboo silk restraint adds a Lisa Frank level of color to the classic Japanese bondage tool of rope-tying. "After seeing how sexy Shibari can be at a fetish club in Tokyo, I’ve been dipping my toe into rope play," says Courtney Kocak, co-host of Private Parts Unknown. "The Emojibator’s Shibari Rope has been a great, non-intimidating entry point."
Alexandra co-signs on this point, adding that the tool can make you feel good at the same time. "Not only is it soft and durable, but there’s something extra-delicious about tying up your partner with rainbow rope, especially if you’re queer," says Alexandra.
Shop: Shibari Unicorn Bondage Rope by Emojibator, $35
4. Pleasure Feather, $8
Literally the softest way to broach sensation play, this feather offers the added benefit of being able to pass off as a normal duster when relatives come to visit. "You can use your night mask as your blindfold, a necktie as a restraint to tie their arms together, and a larger feather to trace the body in semi-randomized patterns to generate unpredictable sensation and excitement," says sex educator Kenneth Play.
Shop Now: Pleasure Feather, $8
5. Crave Leather Handcuffs, $62
What makes these handcuffs great is that they're meant to be taken out into the world. If you slip on both cuffs, you've got yourself rock-and-roll-style bracelets that pair well with any LBD. And when you get back into the bedroom, you can repurpose the handcuffs however, or on whomever, you want.
Shop Now: Crave Leather Handcuffs, $62
6. Unbound Tsk, $24
Unbound's kink accessories come in playful colors, including this pink paddle, the Tsk. Not only does this look like it would be right at home in Barbie's Dream Sex Dungeon, but it's also an easy transition for those who want to take spanking up a notch.
Shop Now: Unbound Tsk, $24
7. Rose Riding Crop, $80
Sleek and made of genuine leather, the Rose Riding Crop delivers an impact on whoever might be misbehaving. Just be sure not to crack the whip without first gaining permission. Saynt reminds that kink, at its core, is about communication, consent, and respecting your partner's limits when exploring.
Shop Now: Rose Riding Crop, $80
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