Though the world is gloriously growing more on board by the day with openly discussing all kinds of sex—shower sex, oral sex, anal sex, and beyond—there’s still so much so many want to learn. So, it’s great news that sexperts are available to offer their best sex tips for creating and maintaining a healthy between-the-sheets relationship.
Below, certified sex educator and coach Alicia Sinclair, founder and CEO of premium sex-toy brand Le Wand, gets real about the non-negotiable bedroom rules she follows to keep her own sex life healthy, happy, and exciting. And don’t worry—you, yourself don’t have to be a certified pro in order to test the roundup of best sex tips.
Learn the 4 best sex tips a sex expert swears by in her own life.
1. Try new things
“I’m sure many people think that as a sex educator, I’ve tried it all. But to be honest, I find that there’s no shortage of new things to try adding into my sexual diet,” Sinclair says. “This can be as simple as adding a new sexy candle scent into the mix or trying a new sex toy or position. ”
“There’s no shortage of new things to try adding into my sexual diet. This can be as simple as adding a new sexy candle scent into the mix or trying a new sex toy or position.” —Alicia Sinclair, sex coach
So what are you waiting for? It’s time to get creative. Why not give shower sex a whirl (because you probably already own a shower). Or, you could use some cushions or a sex pillow to make certain angles more more accessible.
“Not everything will become something that sticks, but the adventure and connection that is created through the experimentation is part of the fun,” Sinclair says. “Plus, you continuously learn more about each person’s body and preferences for pleasure.”
2. Reverse roles
“My partner is usually the one who initiates sex and plays the dominant role,” Sinclair says. “So I like to mix it up and take the lead on occasion. It’s a total treat for my partner, who enjoys being on the receiving end as much as the giving one.”
3. Schedule time for sex
Sinclair acknowledges that scheduled sex may sound really boring, but it offers the big-time benefit of enabling everyone involved to plan ahead. “This could mean setting up the bedroom with lighting, fresh sheets, and candles; personal hygiene prep (if that’s your thing); charging the sex toys; ensuring you have the place to yourselves; setting your phone to Do Not Disturb mode; and even thinking ahead about details, like creating a playlist,” she says.
In addition to mindfully building the anticipation that comes with knowing sex is imminent, Sinclair says reserving that time for your partner communicates that you care. “At a basic level, scheduling sex allows you to reserve the time and space to connect intimately with your partner.”
4. Express gratitude, and give compliments
In or out of bed, this is a solid relationship tip. Still, sharing your deepest appreciation for what’s happening is fuel for your sex life. Learn dirty talk. Embrace dirty talk. Or, throw out a few “I like thats” or “That feels amazings.”
“Nothing is more empowering than hearing how much pleasure your partner experiences with you,” Sinclair says. “That little ego boost is sometimes all we need to keep the fire burning and to get more of what we like. Besides, it’s just really nice to follow up great sex with a sweet sext.”
Still curious about how to improve your sex life? Here’s the case for rating your level of desire from a scale of one to nine. And you don’t even need a partner to enjoy a tantric full-body orgasm tonight.
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