Dating Tips

I’m a Professional Dating Coach, and Here Are My 7 Top Tips for Nailing the Perfect Profile

Photo: Getty Images/Willie B Thomas
The proliferation and normalization of online dating and dating apps has been great for destigmatizing the totally valid way to meet potential romantic matches. But, it's certainly possible to have too much of a good thing at your literal fingertips. With so many dating apps available to use, and new options cropping up on what may feel like a weekly basis, it's easy for swipe culture to feel like an overload of information, leading to feelings of overwhelm. But there's good news: Learning how to write a dating profile the right way can help you break through the noise and have the best matches come to you.

As a certified dating and relationship coach, I fully understand that the latest platforms promising you the partner of your dreams can register as irritating when you feel like you've been sifting through endless bad profiles and lame responses. That can dishearten even the biggest romantic! Luckily, help is here; below find my top seven tips for how to write a dating profile that'll attract your best matches.

7 tips for how to write a dating profile that'll attract a match

1. Use your photos to tell a story

You have barely any time to make an impression on the person who's viewing your profile, so make sure you use it judiciously by telling a story with a single image. You can highlight your passions, hobbies, interests with a photo.

For instance, if you love your pet, include them. If you're passionate about cooking, then use a picture of you whipping up a culinary feast. The goal is to give a better idea of the person you are beyond a photo.

2. Minimize the selfies

The power of photos in a dating app profile are to represent your full image—not just your face, abs, cleavage, or any single part of you. The pictures should also reflect a realistic depiction of your current appearance, not how you looked three years ago or with heavy filters. Include at least three to five photos (and, please, no more than eight) that add up to a reflection of who you are as a person.

3. Be aware of what's in your background

We already know that you can tell a story with a picture—and that includes what’s hiding in your background. So, for instance, unless your bathroom is big enough to not include a toilet in the photo frame, then please don’t use a bathroom photo. This also goes for showing a messy laundry situation behind you, an unmade bed, and kids or pets that are not yours or are not significant to your life.

With dating apps, it's important to be intentional with how you present yourself—and that includes the environment you show to others.

With dating apps, it's important to be intentional with how you present yourself—and that includes the environment you show to others.

4. Be specific—really specific in what you write

It's great that you love to travel and hike—but guess what? So does everyone else on dating apps. If you truly enjoy something, you should be explaining why you enjoy it.

So, instead of simply writing in your profile that you love to travel, give some context for why travel is important to you. Give insight into what brings you joy. Is it Christmas in New York City because of the decorations? Wine at cafés in Paris because you love to people-watch? Zip-lining in Mexico because you're a thrill-seeker? Share specifics so you can attract the right people to your profile who genuinely appreciate you and your interests.

5. Highlight your positivity

Have you ever sat down at a restaurant you had long wanted to try only to learn that they were out of all the dishes you planned to order? It does not feel good and might instantly put you in a mindset of disappointment instead of acceptance and abundance.

Dating profiles are similar in many ways. You can choose to highlight frustrations surrounding the lack of success in finding a match that you've had to this point by sharing what you're not looking for in a partner. But, the more effective strategy for attracting a positive partner is to focus on what you like and appreciate in a partner. The positivity shift may attract more open-minded people who are excited to get to know you better. (Similarly, you might use the opportunity in the restaurant scenario to try a different dish you hadn't thought to order—you might love it!)

6. Use humor, but sparingly

Sarcasm, self-deprecating humor, and politically heated jokes can be a great ice-breakers, but only if you know your audience and are confident that they will understand your tone and point of view. Those key details, though, are things you can't expect strangers on dating apps to be able to gauge. Often, humor can come across as rude, insensitive, or simply confusing.

If you can find a way to allow your unique humor to shine without fear of any of this happening, then, by all means, go for it! Otherwise, proceed with caution.

7. Create intrigue

I will never forget the day I saw a guy’s dating profile that said even though he worked in business, he really wanted to be a ninja. That caught my attention immediately and had me so curious that I had to reach out to him. That guy is now my husband. Keep your profile honest, fun, and interesting. You want what you present to stand out, stop someone in their swiping tracks, and connect with them.

Your dating profile is a reflection of who you are and the type of the person you want to attract. Allow yourself to shine as the well-rounded, multidimensional person you are, using your voice, your brilliance, and your true self.

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