How astrology has made me more self-aware, reflective, and accountable in my relationships


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My newfound obsession with astrology started, as most things do nowadays, with an Instagram post. Last year, Co-Star, the personalized astrology app, shared an illustration of a Pisces bingo board, which looked exactly as it sounds: a card where you mark off Pisces traits you exhibit, like “using fantasies as an escape” or “giving good advice but can’t apply it to yourself.” Lo and behold, I ended up checking off most squares, and thought to myself how the traits felt different than a typical, one-dimensional horoscope reading. I got hooked—fast—and I have yet to look back. At that point, I didn’t even know what a moon sign was; now I can tell you that I’m a Pisces sun, Capricorn moon, Sagittarius rising with her Venus in Aries, and then some.

Many are hopping on the astro bandwagon (or, er, spaceship), and with increasingly numbers of people knowing much more than their sun signs (determined by the sign the sun was in when you were born, it’s what you commonly look to when you read your horoscope), readings have grown to be more holistic and complex—and the result is a lot more celestial-sourced wisdom to glean. “We have so many great resources available that go beyond sun-sign astrology. So, astrology in the mainstream has changed,” astrologer Rachel Lang tells me. “I think this is indicative of an overall shift—astrology has evolved to meet our ever-changing needs,” she says.

I’ve always understood that astrology can be a tool for learning more about myself, and since I’ve become a celestial devotee, I’ve been using my horoscope to explore who I already am. AKA, astrology has made me more introspective. In the beginning of my life as a born-again astrology follower, I’d explain, or even qualify, my behavior using the excuse of, “Oh, it’s because I’m a Pisces.” Examples: Romanticizing a person and then immediately falling for the idea of them? Pisces. Always having a crush on someone and always developing feelings? Pisces. Shrugging emoji.

Astrology can be a tool for learning more about myself, and since I’ve become a celestial devotee, I’ve been using my horoscope to explore who I already am. AKA, astrology has made me more introspective.

Eventually my behavior shifted away from assuming my actions were predestined by the universe, and I learned to harness my Pisces characteristics in a more thoughtful way—particularly in my dating life. Rather than throwing up my hands in the air and saying, “Oh well, I’m a Pisces—what can you do?” I conducted a nonscientific audit of my habits and actions. As a result, I’ve become more cognizant of them—both the ones that are working for me and those not doing me any favors—and I’ve formed healthier relationships with myself and others.

“Pisces can be imaginative and dreamy,” says Lang. “Being grounded in the practical helps Pisces manifest their dreams (including a healthy relationship).” In true Pisces fashion, I commonly fall for the idea of someone rather than who they really are, so holding myself accountable to not falling victim to my sun-sign pitfalls has helped me be more discerning on dates. I used to be excellent at overlooking the ugh feeling I got when a date was, say, super-pretentious about wine or wore flip-flops, because potential/he’s tall! I know. I’m eye-rolling at myself.

Being extra attuned to the facets of my chart, as they relate to romance, has helped me reframe my dating narrative from “Did they like me? Will they text me?” to “Wait, did I actually like them? Do I even want to see them again?” And it’s important, because in order to “honor my gentle, romantic Piscean nature,” I can’t forget to honor my own personal opinions.

“Astrology gives us a language of symbols to help provide that meaning and context,” Lang says. “If we can understand the symbolism of what’s happening in our lives, we can find solutions to challenges. It helps us become co-creators of our lives.” And it can also help you not go out on multiple dates with a nonstarter because you “see potential” but there’s really just smoke and mirrors.

Does it matter if you and your S.O. have incompatible zodiac signs? An astrologer weighs in. Also, here’s our definitive guide to the best dating apps.

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