When you’re cohabiting with an S.O., lots important stuff goes down in the bedroom: snuggling, binge-watching, and, yes, getting it on. For a number or reasons, your shut-eye sanctuary is an intimate space, so it’s important to set it up in a way that helps it best work for you (and, of course, your relationship).
Tisha Morris, feng shui expert and author of Clutter Intervention: How Your Stuff Is Keeping You Stuck, says the space is so important and telling that she can determine the status of a couple’s relationship simply by looking at their bedroom. Because the space and romantic relationships are so intrinsically intertwined, she suggests decorating it to be as love-inducing as possible. “You really want make a sanctuary around the relationship,” she explains, noting that the bedroom is “the one room in the house that’s dedicated to the relationship.”
Sounds great, but how can you maximize your bedroom’s ability to support your relationship? Here, Morris breaks it down.
Check out the feng-shui-friendly tips for building a bedroom that supports your romantic relationship.
1. Minimize your stuff—AKA clutter
“The bedroom should be focused on relaxation, intimacy, rejuvenation, sleeping,” says Morris. Anything that isn’t conducive to that doesn’t belong there: Minimize the amount of books and photos that are lying around or displayed, and get rid of anything work- or workout-related (so, store your WFH desk station elsewhere).
2. Decorate with symmetry
A symmetrical room promotes a relationship that’s in sync, so having one nightstand on each side of the bed is key, says Morris. The two pieces don’t have to be identical, but they should be of similar height, weight, and include comparable elements. For example, if one nightstand has a lamp, the other should too. “If there’s an imbalance of the nightstand, it mirrors an imbalance of the relationship. Immediately correcting that will immediately shift the relationship.”
3. Mirror, mirror, not on the wall
There may be certain allure of having a mirror in front of (…or above?) the bed when it comes to sex, but from a love perspective, it’s best to keep your bedroom reflection-free. “Mirrors can provide a past energy that has the potential of bringing in a third party,” Morris explains. According to feng shui, mirrors are particularly charged, which can lead to restless sleep—so it’s best to keep ’em in other spaces and look at each other instead.
4. Choose artwork strategically
No matter your relationship status, the artwork you hang in your bedroom directly correlates to the energy you bring into your life. “In the bedroom, you want to have calm, romantic scenes,” says Morris, who suggests swapping out photos of busy street scenes for imagery that appeals to your love, like a #couplesphoto or a shared memory. Avoid artwork with groupings of three, like three people or three animals, which can bring the thought of a third party into the relationship. And if you are single but looking for a partner, avoid any artwork containing solo figures.
5. Don’t push a bedside against the wall
Not only is the act of climbing over your partner to get out of bed annoying for both of you, but having a bed with only one open side can actually be indicative of bigger problems. “Whoever sleeps on the [wall] side has to energetically go through the other person, so there’s a loss of power,” says Morris. “Having equal access on both sides of the bed is important.”
6. Buy that supportive headboard you’ve been eyeing
A headboard provides support for a relationship, so consider that your expert-sanctioned reason to buy a chic wooden or fabric one, which Morris suggests are the best materials. “Having a solid surface behind you is more energetically supportive than one that is, for example, framed out with [negative] space.”
7. Splurge on bedding
“The more comfortable your bed is, the more you’ll want spend time in the bed together,” Morris says. For some ideas about how to make your sleep sich feel as cloud-like as possible, check out these non-boring ways to totally revamp your bed.
8. Be mindful of how much physical space you’re taking up
The physical space you absorb reflects the space you taking in your relationship, explains Morris. So, it may be time for a massive closet purge, as it should be a priority to have equal space in every facet of your relationship.” If one of you is more of a minimalist while the other is more maximalist, that’s fine, but it’s important that both partners feel represented in a way that feels equitable to them.
9. Pick the right color and lighting scheme
The bedroom should be a relaxing oasis reserved for intimacy and restoration, so warm, monochromatic color schemes—not bold or bright ones—are best. Another thing to keep in mind? Lighting. “You want to, ideally, have a variation of lighting. So kill the overhead light, which doesn’t make anyone look good,” says Morris. “Soft ambient lighting options set a mood for romance,” i.e., just the mood you should be seeking to set.
Originally published on April 27, 2018; updated on August 19, 2018.
Your phone might also be getting in the way of your relationship. And if you’re officially inspired to redesign your bedroom for the sake of your love life, here are discounted buys you can score at HomeGoods.
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