As someone who sages every new apartment she moves into and considers an amplifying and clarifying clear quartz crystal the best housewarming gift ever, I’ve always been interested in the the way that energy can impact life. It’s why I’m drawn to the premise of feng shui, which points to the idea that by changing the energy of a space, I could change my own energy—and perhaps even the rest of my life.
Enter: energetic expert Heather Askinoise’s idea of love feng shui—or, more fittingly, feng shui love killers. The Energy Muse co-founder and Crystal Muse author has a pretty clear outline of ways many of us unwittingly forfeit love energy, and a whole bunch of them are centered on the setup of the bedroom. Everything from where you place your bed to what you hang on your walls is up for feng shui debate, Askinosie contends.
So early last year, I started implementing some of her tips for how to cultivate solid love feng shui. Spoiler: I haven’t hooked the love of my life quite yet, but I do feel like my bedroom is a more harmonious space. And while I’m not in a relationship, I have become a more discerning about the men who get to see my Zen bedroom sanctuary—and that feels like energetic progress to me.
Ahead, find a handful of Askinosie’s feng shui love killers and how to fix them. The solutions may not instantly deliver It’s Raining Men or Sexual Healing levels of love-life mojo, but they might shift the energy just enough to bring you some good romance karma.
Check out 4 feng shui love killers—and how to solve to them.
1. If your bed is against the wall…
Move it away, Askinosie says. “A bed flush against a wall that can only be entered from one side symbolizes not making room for someone to enter your life,” she writes. Instead, situate your bed to ensure it can be entered from either side. Energetically, you’re making space to allow someone else to enter your space, and that can translate into your everyday life.
Of course, following this guideline can be pretty tricky in tiny apartments, but Askinosie says there’s no need to free up enough real estate to do a lunge series. Rather, just a scant foot of space that’ll allow enough room for someone to enter and exit at their leisure—without having to leap over you—is sufficient.
2. If you’ve got a lot of art hanging up…
Take stock of what that art is depicting. If you’re surrounded by pieces showcasing a single person, that may translate into energy communicating that your bedroom is a spot designed for, well, one. Instead, “artwork should contain two people who symbolize a loving partnership,” Askinosie writes. I.e: my movie poster from A Streetcar Named Desire had to go.
In Crystal Muse, Askinosie writes that it’s also a good idea to nix photos of your family in your bedroom. Why? Well, the effect isn’t exactly sexy. If you want to cultivate a romantic mood in your bedroom, consider moving your framed snaps of grandma to the living room.
3. If there are mirrors in your room…
You might want to cover them with a cloth, Askinosie notes. “If you have a mirror that creates a double image of your bed, it’s believed to represent a third-party interference,” she writes. And by the way, that doesn’t necessarily mean cheating: It could be anything from a family member who can’t keep their opinions to themselves, or an intrusive friend who is the worst wing woman in the world.
So if you can move your mirror to a place where it won’t create a double image of your bed, go for it. But if it’s too big to move? Cover it up, says Askinosie. You may just notice fewer people seem to be meddling in your love life as a result.
4. If you have crystals—but you’re not using them the right way…
A great way to maximize the crystal power for love in the bedroom is to pair the stones. “You generally want to have crystals in pairs when it comes to the bedroom,” Askinosie says. “It creates great love feng shui to see pairings throughout the room.” There is such a thing as overdoing it, though, which is why it’s recommended to stick to the two types of stones you’re drawn to.
A good pairing for love feng shui, Askinosie says, is two rose quartz stones. “Rose quartz is a stone known for helping people tap into their compassionate side,” she writes. “It will bring the energy of understanding into the space as it works to open and unblock your heart chakra.” Alternatively, you can also pair one rose quartz with an amethyst, as amethyst helps calm the soul while rose quartz unblocks the heart.
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