Meet the new personality typology that’ll help you get out of your brain ruts


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The Enneagram model is personality typology that has a sneaky way of reflecting our innermost selves. Here’s how it works: Each personality profile is assigned a number—there are nine in total, and you can read an outline of each here to decide which fits you best—that serves as a starting point for understanding why it is that we do the things we do. The enneagon symbol (a nine-sided polygon) itself is ancient, but it was most recently expanded into its modern personality-explaining understanding by philosopher Óscar Ichazo, who posited that we all have go-to passions or coping mechanisms that create recurring themes throughout our lives. I’ve spent years nerding out about his theories and those of others, but I’ve always felt like the only millennial engaging with the self-growth tool in a meaningful way. That bothered me, so I created Millenneagram.

To quote my imaginary BFF Lin-Manuel Miranda, we’re “young, scrappy, and hungry,” and we live in some pretty terrifying times. Fighting against the system and for what you believe requires all the intelligence and intuition you can muster—and I think a spin on the Enneagram model can help you become more aware of your brain ruts so you can start charting new paths. That’s where Millenneagram comes in, as a 21st-century update on its sleepy predecessor. Check out descriptions of the nine updated personality profiles below.

Meet the 9 personalities of Millenneagram, a 21st-century update of the Enneagram model.

1: The Machine

Ones are principled, responsible, perfectionistic—and, on the DL, kind of angry. They’re careful not to do anything before making sure it’s the right thing. When they’re healthy, their intuitive vision allows them to see a dozen steps ahead. When they’re not, they have a tendency to be judgmental of others and, worse, of themselves.

2: The Parent

Twos are natural givers and helpers. They like to go where they fit, and they become indispensable in that space. They’re skilled at identifying the wants and needs of others, and then satisfying those desires—often before even being asked. When they’re healthy, Twos are limitless in their ability to provide integral emotional labor and intelligence to themselves and others. When they’re not, they tend to offer their love with strings attached.

3: The Winner

Threes are the natural winners of the Enneagram, primarily because what they care about the most is winning. Like Twos, they are excellent at discerning what’s going on emotionally with others, and they know how to channel that knowledge to further their own goals. When they’re healthy, Threes are inspirational, strategic, charismatic, and hardworking. When they’re not, they can be social chameleons, showing others what they want to see and ignoring their true selves underneath.

4: The Tortured Artist

Fours are passionate, creative, and emotional. They can create whole worlds, new aesthetics, and gorgeous pieces of art as effortlessly as they can breathe. Even those who have never picked up a pen or a brush are creators in their own right, whether they’re designing living spaces, experiences, or looks for the runway of life. When they’re healthy, they are pure-hearted, connected to their emotions, and able to see themselves truthfully and make things happen. When they’re not, they can be moody, self-absorbed, and operate entirely in their own fantasy worlds.

5: The Detective

Fives are thinkers and questioners. They see all of life as research, or a riddle to be solved, and hang back a bit from the stream of human experience to watch, reflect, and take notes. Fives seek to go where no mind has gone before, to test the limits of human experience and to discover everything there is to know. When they’re healthy, they’re the intellectually savvy; when they’re not, they skew withdrawn, isolated, and deeply insecure about their ability to operate in the world.

6: The Oracle

Sixes are the best of friends; they’re warm, engaging and encouraging on the outside, despite feeling cautious, suspicious, and fearful within. They think through every possible outcome and are thus qualified to provide well-informed responses. Sixes are fixated on security and authority, and they tend to make decisions based on the fear that no one is quite trustworthy. When healthy, they are faithful, centered, and welcoming. When unhealthy, they are known to react impulsively, defensively, and are generally concerned that catastrophe is around the corner.

7: The Party

Sevens are true legends: magnetic, expansive, and with unparalleled energy. They want to taste and try everything. When healthy, they keep the rest of us feeling alive in the truest sense of the word, with their humor, joy, optimism. When they’re not, they’re at risk for chasing FOMO until they realize they lost track of their actual lives.

8: The Dragon

Eights possess so much raw, intuitive power. They are larger than life, armed with a vivacious intensity that follows them into every space. They can upset the power dynamics of a party and reset the gravitational pull of every social situation. They can be antagonistic, as they expect to be on the offensive and sometimes oppose the unknown just for the heck of it. When healthy, they are natural leaders—generous, active, and in charge. When they’re not, they can come across as intimidating and power-hungry, simply because they try to make ensure that nothing else controls them first.

9: The Wallflower

Nines are the peacekeepers. They like things to be as they are and tend to let life happen to them, rather than acting with intention. They are kind, low-key, and are often homebodies. When they’re healthy, they are able to channel their intuitive abilities to lead by example or to create a calming, restorative space for themselves and others while remaining present to their own needs. When they’re not, they can go numb, losing track of where they end and others begin.

Millenneagram

Want more intel on your personality, à la Millenneagram? Here’s what burns you out and what kind of morning routine works best for you, according to your Myers-Briggs personality type.

Hannah Paasch is the author of Millenneagram: The Enneagram Guide for Discovering Your Truest, Baddest Self and the personality behind the Millenneagram podcast, whose Twitter thread #Millenneagram went viral in December 2017. She has been featured in Jezebel, Vox, Bustle, Teen Vogue, Time, Mother Jones, HelloGiggles, and more. She has also written for the Huffington Post. She lives in Sacramento, California.

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